The Rules of Depression Club

No lying in bed during the day. Or even the early evening. Or the late morning.

Go to bed at the same time. Wake up at the same time. Take your pills at the same time. All the time.

Eat so many vegetables your intestines will turn green. (Maybe they’re already green? Greener. Greener intestines for everyone.)

No social media that will bring me down. This is mostly restricted to not reading twitter. And not looking at Instagram on Father’s Day, I suppose.

Bake. Bake a lot.

No lying on the sofa reading. This is just lying on the bed, without the bed.

No talking to people who will make me sad.

Therapy. Duh.

So much exercise, six days a week.

Meditate every single day. (For those of you who don’t meditate, it’s basically just prayer. It does wonders for anxiety.)

Don’t be stingy with your Xanax. Take it when you need it.

Bug your doctor whenever you need to, changing your meds as you need to. Don’t feel guilty for bugging her. That’s her job. She gets paid to change your meds. It’s okay. She doesn’t hate you, and if she does, change doctors. (But she doesn’t.)

Take care of yourself first. Or at least try to.

No to-do lists. You make impossibly long to-do lists and then feel like a failure when you don’t get things done, as if this is proof of your worthlessness.

No looking for proof of your worthlessness. Not allowed.

No baths. Baths are just beds with hot water.

Relax. Enjoy the moment. Stop fretting about what you’re doing wrong in life.

Surround yourself with lovely people who can relax and enjoy the moment. Let down your shoulders. Take lots of deep breaths, or tiny breaths if you can’t manage the deep ones.

Add to this list whenever you need to.