The Bible Can’t Be Wrong

Keeping Up Appearances Why I Don’t Talk About the Bible

The Bible Can’t Be Wrong

“Did you ever sit down and just finally say to yourself, ‘I’m gay’?” the interviewer asked me.

I paused. I couldn’t think of a single moment I ever told myself I was gay. I could only think of the many moments I told myself I wasn’t gay. I couldn’t be gay because I was a Christian. I couldn’t be gay because the Bible can’t be wrong.

Growing up in a conservative Christian culture, the Bible was the absolute authority on everything. To disagree with, or question what had long been established as doctrinal truth was paramount to disagreeing with God Himself. Those doctrines were ingrained in me. I certainly didn’t want to go to hell. Besides, the Bible can’t be wrong.

I lived that way for decades in spite of the growing mental conflict that told me I was gay. To be sure I didn’t give into sexual temptation I kept my friendships at arm’s length, if I had them at all. Depression ate at my soul. I was broken, unworthy to be loved. This, I determined, was better than being gay because the Bible can’t be wrong.

After my wife divorced me, I stayed true to my faith, though my faith made less sense than it used to. God had a plan. He would work this out. He was going to bring her back and put my family back together. There was no other way because the Bible can’t be wrong.

Mental illness consumed me. I fell asleep at night picturing myself with a gun held to the temple of my head. Tears formed in the corners of my eyes as I imagined pulling the trigger, finally being released from the pain. Finally being released from the Bible.

Is that what God wanted? Did He want me to be so bound to an interpretation of the Bible that I would despise my very existence? Was I supposed to hold on to a doctrine that kept me from functioning as a nurturing parent, a contributing member of society? Was this what I believed in? Was this the abundant life I’d worked so hard to achieve through all my years of faithful service?

When belief doesn’t match reality, it’s time to change what we believe. There are millions of men and women who, through no fault of their own, are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex. It’s biology. It’s the natural order of things. There is plenty of time to discuss what the Bible says and doesn’t say about nature. One thing is perfectly clear, however, God loves people. All people. If ever there was a story of love it’s found in the simple Gospel message that Jesus loves us. Of that I am certain that the Bible can’t be wrong.

Tim

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