"I’m not bragging or anything, but I’m no ordinary...

"I’m not bragging or anything, but I’m no ordinary dude. I know I look like an old fart rolling around the neighborhood. But I used to be a model in GQ. And I was on that show, Flipper. And one time, a famous photographer took a portrait of me and hung it in the Brooklyn Museum. He titled it ‘The Old Master."

“Master of what?”

“Bullshit, I guess.”