Some of Fr. Jamie's weird personal rules regarding priest-parishioner relationships

I recently had a newer member of St. Stephen’s ask me a question: why don’t you Facebook friend anyone. It seems like everyone has to request you. It was good question to ask. And the answer is an easy one: you are very right. One of my tried and true personal rules is that I never Facebook friend anyone, especially parishioners. Why? Because many people simply do not want a priest (especially their priest) on their Facebook page.  And worse, some people might not like some of the things their priest says or posts on Facebook. Of course I don’t post anything inappropriate. But I do give my opinion on Facebook in a way I sometimes do not in sermons or in church. For an extrovert like me, this is sometimes very difficult. I like making friends, and having Facebook friends. I like he open interchange of Facebook. But because I do, I also have to be clear that Facebook friend requests need to be from the parishioner, not from the priest. And in that case, I accept all Facebook friend requests.
A few other weird, personal rules of Fr. Jamie:
Do not expect me to just drop in at your home . One of the first things I was asked when I came to St. Stephen’s was if I just dropped in at people’s homes without calling. I said then (and believed wholeheartedly) that I couldn’t imagine anything worse.
In turn, I do not appreciate drop-in visits at the rectory . Oftentimes, because the rectory if in such close proximity to the church, people feel it is fine that they just drop by the rectory. I have a very strictly rule about that. The same courtesy about unannounced drop-ins runs both ways. I feel unannounced drop-ins violate the privacy of the rectory and tramples on the fact that, yes, your priest does have a life outside the congregation.
Do not expect personal invitations to the rectory from me of social events . I knew a priest at a church I served once who had certain members of the congregation over for drinks of meals at the rectory. Sadly, I was not one of those people who were ever invited. It smacked of favoritism. And it also smacks of inappropriateness. As a result, I never invite individual parishioners to the rectory for social events. I will, of course meet with parishioners there for pastoral reasons (f the church is too busy for a more personal meeting, if he church is too cold in the winter, etc.), always maintaining Safe Church guidelines of course. And more than once I have had parishioners who have simply invited themselves to the Rectory. But the invitation never comes from me. The only people I invite socially to the rectory are friends of mine outside the congregation (Yes, I do have a social life outside of the congregation).
Of course, I also host several Rectory open houses throughout the year so people from the congregation can enjoy the rectory.
I think the only time I have tweaked this particular rule is when I hosted a wedding reception for James our organist and William, his spouse. But then, that of course was also opened to the congregation as well, so that wasn't even really a tweak. 
Do not expect invitations from me for any outside social events . Again, this is another hard one for me as an extrovert. I do not ever extend invitations to go to supper, drinks, etc. with any parishioner, though I accept any and all invitations (as long as it works within my schedule) from parishioners themselves. I enjoy going out, whether it be one of the finer establishments in town, or one of the more affordable places. I have never been picky on any place. I do however have a rule not accept more than two invitations in one day. Again, I do have a life outside the church and I try to make sure that not all my social life involves parishioners. The only exception to this rule is the Wednesday night, post-Mass supper, when I feel open invitations are perfect within reason. 

I will not store anything from the congregation at the rectory . I have been very firm in this rule. My feeling is that anything stored at the rectory then becomes my responsibility. If it becomes damaged or if there is some kind of water damage, etc. I am the one responsible for moving it and protecting it. Part of the reason I resent storing things at the rectory is because I think there is also some double standard for single clergy over married clergy. Married clergy with family would not normally be asked to store things for the church. But a single clergyperson is because I should be more readily available for such things. It also allows parishioners to have more ready access to the rectory, which I find violates the priest’s privacy. If these arguments usually don’t convince someone, I then simply say that since I pay for my own snow removal and lawn care throughout the year, the congregation does not have a right at this time to ask me to store anything at the Rectory. In the future, if that changes, however, I will still maintain my privacy as a reason for not storing anything.
Living in the Rectory is not always a fun experience. There is truly the sense of living in a fish bowl at times.  That is just one of the common issues of living in church property. But for the most part, I enjoy it. I like living in close proximity to the church. I like being available, even in bad weather, to the church building. 
Some of these rules might seem strange to some people, but I think keeping clear boundaries in a priest-parishioner relationship is important.