What is Perfectionism and How to Overcome It

Some would say I am a recovering perfectionist (while I do not really feel that way). I can certainly be very detailed-oriented but can now also let go and ship to the world even if I know it is not perfect. What maybe I did not understand well was the mechanism of perfectionism.

I found a great summary of this issue in an excellent book I read recently. “Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame. Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect” – so writes Brene Brown in the Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (she is an academic researcher on blame and became a best-selling author on the topic of becoming what we really are).

What she points out is that perfectionism is in fact an addiction that aims to protect us from the outside world – and thus could be compared to alcohol or drugs somehow. Overcoming perfectionism also requires the same tools and habit-forming activities than other addictions, and possibly external help as well.

Being careful in what you are doing is fine. But if you overextend it because you fear what people might think of you, and then you don’t come out to the world, you might suffer from an addiction to perfectionism. Heal yourself!