Thanks For the Post

Pruning

I’d just been thinking I had nothing much to say; the days are sort of morphing into one another in their snowbound sameness. Me rising at 5:30 to settle by the fire, nurse a coffee and bang out 1,000 or so words on the book before the rest of the family stirs, Penny thumping down the stairs in a hoppity way necessitated by her misadventure with the water pot, then out to chores while my wife irrigates and redresses her wounds, then breakfast, then back to the desk until lunch, then lunch, then back to the desk, then chores, then reading, then sleep. Crikey, it’s almost like I have a real job. Truth is, I’m sort of enjoying it; the style and content of this book is so different than anything I’ve done before, and for the first time it’s a truly collaborative effort, because as anyone who knows us understands, the primary reservoir of knowledge and experience on this homestead is not me. Pains me to admit it, but I am if nothing else committed to truth. Except when I’m not.

Anyhow. Here I was thinking I’d skip another day of posting, and then remembering all the generosity that’s flowed in this direction over the past couple weeks and with it a certain sense of obligation which I’d very much planned to avoid but what can I say? I’m only human. And then, this:

When you say “unschooled” what, exactly, do you mean? Do you mean something along the lines of child-directed learning (ie teach them things as they express interest?) If they never express interest in something, does that mean you won’t teach it to them? Is it possible that they’ll come to their 20-something years not knowing multiplication and division? And is this fine with you?

I’m not making judgements, just curious as to what your stance here is. Will these types of questions be covered in your book?

Ah, perfect. A question that pretty much writes the post for me! More, please!

So, first thing, yes, these questions are covered extensively in my upcoming book which, unless things change unexpectedly, is to be titled Home Grown: Adventures in Parenting Off the Beaten Path, Unschooling, and Reconnecting With Nature.

But quickly, I will say that we consider unschooling to be child-directed, adult-facilitated learning. The facilitated part is key, you know. As I’ve written before, unschooling in this family does not simply mean leaving the boys to their own devices, come hell or high water. There’s plenty of that, sure, but the greater truth is that we are often helping them get a project started, or ferrying them to their trapline, or arranging days with one of their mentors, or… you get the picture. Unschooling, at least the way we do it, is not for the lazy, although I sometimes wish it were.

Regarding whether or not we expose (I tend to steer clear of the word “teach” probably because I’ve always hate being “taught.” It feels passive to me and furthermore like something I’m being compelled to do. These are probably just my personal associations with the word, but to me, they’re real) them to subjects they show no interest in, it really depends on the subject. Like every unschooling family I know, we struggle a bit with math; neither Penny nor I are drawn to numbers, though we use basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division every day (and no calculators, by gum!).

But clearly, the fellas have gotta learn some math, so we have imposed a certain amount of number play upon them. They don’t like it, but if we couch it in the context of their interests, they generally acquiesce. Would it be fine with me if they never learned this stuff? No, not really. I mean, it’d be fine with me if they never learned calculus or even algebra; honestly, I can’t remember the last time I used even a wee bit of that stuff, and I’m still trudging along. I still understand that there are three types of people in this world: Those who understand math, and those who don’t. Also, I’m confident that if my boys ever needed advanced math skills as adults, they could learn them, but I don’t feel as if their lives will be unavoidably bereft if they don’t learn advanced math. But basic math is something they clearly need to know. It’s a means of communication, really.

The only other consistent minor struggle is hand-writing. They don’t like to write much, at least not the physical act of putting pen to paper (they very much love concocting elaborate stories verbally). They both can write, and they’re getting better at it, but they resist. Again, this is something we tackle in the context of their interests. For instance, they just wrote thank you notes to all the landowners who gave them access to their land for hunting and trapping. Their desire to express their thanks and (let’s be honest, here) maintain good relations prevailed over their distaste of the writing itself.

To sum it all up again. In this family, unschooling = self-directed, facilitated learning.

Thanks for the question, Rina. Heck, thanks for the post!