The Other F-Word
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In my post, The F-Word, I discussed how my wife and I talked with our daughter about “bad words,” the F-word in particular. Olivia was curious so we explained, hopefully took away the word’s power and forbidden attraction.
Now, I’m waiting for Olivia to ask if she can read my books. We can’t use the “inappropriate language” excuse anymore. It’s not that my novels are filled with swearing, but that was an easier explanation than “Daddy kills a bunch of people in his books.”
The cursing is still an issue, but I’ve made gains in not using the F-word in my fiction. I went from 108 fucks in Brightside to giving only 1 fuck per story in 25 Perfect Days. Somehow I managed without any in Try Not to Die. But while all the F-word talk was going on, I was deep into 5 More Perfect Days, polishing the second story, “30-Day Program.”
Three paragraphs in and the main character lets loose with a fuck. I looked at it closely, thought the word deserved to stay, but it wasn’t that F-word that was bothering me. It was the second:
Faggot.
Fucking faggot.
You can taste the hate in that word.
How’d you say it right now, how’d it make you feel? Say it out loud. Did you spit it out like something vile in your mouth? Were you offended? Should that word be banned?
I never imagined that word would find its way into my fiction, but I left it on the page after I read a letter from Don Currie, who wrote to me after enjoying 25 Perfect Days and my blog, Confessions of a Homophobe where I detail my journey. Here’s part of Don’s message:
I was fag bashed in my early 20′s and have the scars, both inside and out, to remind me of that horrible time. I was attacked and kicked in the head and body by feet wearing heavy boots….a lot! Due to the injuries to my head and brain, they were not able to administer pain medication or anesthesia while they repaired my eye that had been torn into multiple pieces. I lay on the operating table for the 3 hour microsurgery while the ophthalmologist used a microscope to sew up the multitude of tears to my upper and lower lids. The needle came straight down at my eye time after time, and I could do nothing but watch it. My head hurt, my body ached, my brain swelled. The whole time, I wondered why. The whole time I asked myself what could make someone hate me so much just for being who I am, for who I loved. The fractured skull has healed and the broken ribs, and the swelling to my brain, but the scars on my eye remain. Most people say they can’t notice unless I tell them, but I know it’s there. Some days it makes me sad, but mostly it is a reminder to me that I can endure lots of things, and I will not give up. It’s also a reminder that there are people who hate me and others like me for no real reason, just because they do, but I will survive.
This was hard for me to read. Don and I talked about how little things have changed, that beatings like this are still commonplace. We talked about Russia and the direction they’re headed, how they enacted a law prohibiting any positive mention of homosexuality. How there are 76 countries with anti-gay laws as bad as or worse than Russia’s.
America’s not on that list, but not for a lack of trying. The federal law banning gay marriage was only recently lifted, and even though sodomy laws have been invalidated for 10 years there are still arrests. The recent legislation brought up in Kansas and the law that was just passed in Arizona make me wonder if the only reason why my short story, “30-Day Program,” should be classified as science fiction is because it’s set in 2048.
I guess we’ll see which way things go, if these types of laws will continue to gain momentum or if they’re the last flailing efforts of desperate individuals. After you read the story I hope you’ll take a second to answer a few questions, cast your vote on whether or not a 30-Day Program should one day become reality.
Free Short Story
If you are on Facebook you can answer the survey by clicking here or email your answer to info@marktullius.com
How would you vote if your country wanted to enact its own 30-Day program?
What is your age?
13-19
20-34
35-49
50 and up
What is your gender?
Male
Female
Other
Do you identify as LGBT?
Yes
No
Would you vote to enact your country’s 30-Day program where homosexuals were sent to retraining centers?
Yes
No
Sincere thanks to Don Currie for the inspiration, to Matte Zovich and Todd Barselow for their input early on, and to Anthony Szpak for all his help developing the story.
