Why, Yes, That is My Vibrator

I had an absolutely wonderful time at my first readers’ convention, Coastal Magic, earlier this month!  I had not fully appreciated just how devoted and enthusiastic romance readers are until that wonderful, rainy weekend in Daytona.

One of my favorite parts of the convention was drinking wine and playing girls’ night games with authors, bloggers, and readers in the hotel bar.  The party had been organized by three authors I really enjoyed meeting, C.J. Ellisson, Boone Brux, and Hildie McQueen—sweet, fun, smart ladies.

As the evening was winding down and the stragglers were all seated around one table, someone shared a funny travel tip: don’t pack your vibrator in your carry-on in case it gets opened up by the TSA officers in the airport security line.  We got a lot of giggles out of imagining what the officer would say when he or she saw a Hitachi Magic Wand complete with attachments. The agreement around the table seemed to be it was wiser to keep the appliance in the checked luggage.

But then I started thinking—here we are, a dozen smart, empowered women who like to read and write about sex, worrying that a TSA officer or our fellow travelers will see our vibrators, when, it seems practically everyone at the table owns one.  What are we ashamed of?

So I suggested perhaps instead of hiding the thing, we should just claim it.  “Yep, that’s mine. I highly recommend this model, and it comes with a great warranty.”

Now, I’m all for not getting delayed in the airport security line.  And, I’m also all for privacy.  You may have noticed that while I am outspoken about sexuality—embracing it, enjoying, etc.—I don’t disclose things about my sex life on the Internet.  So, for both of these reasons, I can respect stowing a vibrator in the checked luggage.

But still, I hope all women can claim (privately or publically) their sexuality as a source of pleasure and wholeness.  If one happens to get “outed” as a sexual being, a pleasure seeker, a lover, don’t hide! Claim it!

At Coastal Magic, I talked briefly about erotic and romantic love as a window into divine love, and people told me over and over how much they needed to hear that.  It has a certain flavor when I say it, as a priest.  But the truth is, lots of authors say it better via carefully drawn characters and thoroughly explored conflict.  Every well-crafted story about sex has the potential to say it is good, and holy, and part of being whole.

I learned a ton of things at the Coastal Magic convention about how passionate readers are and how to connect with them better. (For example, you may have noticed I’ve been doing a lot better on Facebook, and yes, I’d love to be friends!).  And I came away even more convicted that writing about sex, just like being a priest, is a great honor, privilege, and responsibility.

So here’s to a day when every woman feels comfortable claiming her vibrator in the airport!

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