Press Release
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
MEDIA CONTACT: john.box68@gmail.com
DOUCHEBAG LAUNCHES SECOND SELF-PROCLAIMED SMASH HIT NOVEL
TOKYO, JAPAN – Feb. 12 – Moderately talented but devilishly handsome author/host John Box will with the help of Rowen Boozewell release the comedic novel American MaleWhore in Tokyo on Valentine’s Day, 02/14/2014. In announcing the release, Mr. Box was quoted as saying, “This is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes.”
Mr. Box will be reading from his book on Saturday, Feb. 15, at the Budokan in Tokyo, where tens of thousands of screaming co-eds will shower him with laughter, propositions, and panties. Or possibly just pepper-spray the shit out of him. Either way, I’m afraid that you can’t come. But you can purchase a copy and read it quietly on the crapper.
John Box is a native of New York. He received a Bachelor’s Degree in massage therapy from Rutgers University, and has been known to correctly answer $100 and $200 Jeopardy questions. He also appreciates the idea of a Masters Degree in Creative Writing from Oregon State University.
While John Box has won countless literary honors, we will not be getting into them here, because frankly, they’re a dime a dozen. But do you know anyone who has ever beaten Super Mario Bros. on one man, without warping? Cause John Box has.
MORE about John Box
In addition to being a lover of classic literature and fine asses, John Box enjoys television, frequently referring to it as “Mommy.”
He also spends a lot of time waiting for others to say, “Well now you know,” so that he may chime in with, “And knowing is half the battle!”
Further, he’s a fan of jaywalking in general, jaywalking in front of police officers, and soliciting others to jaywalk. He is not, however, a fan of wearing fake moustaches in order to arouse laughter in church and is always on the lookout to make a citizen’s arrest for such nonsense.
John Box is available for interviews, appearances, book-signings, birthday parties, Super Bowl XLVI parties, and three ways – no fatties.
MEDIA CONTACT: john.box68@gmail.com
DOUCHEBAG LAUNCHES SECOND SELF-PROCLAIMED SMASH HIT NOVEL
TOKYO, JAPAN – Feb. 12 – Moderately talented but devilishly handsome author/host John Box will with the help of Rowen Boozewell release the comedic novel American MaleWhore in Tokyo on Valentine’s Day, 02/14/2014. In announcing the release, Mr. Box was quoted as saying, “This is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes.”
Mr. Box will be reading from his book on Saturday, Feb. 15, at the Budokan in Tokyo, where tens of thousands of screaming co-eds will shower him with laughter, propositions, and panties. Or possibly just pepper-spray the shit out of him. Either way, I’m afraid that you can’t come. But you can purchase a copy and read it quietly on the crapper.
John Box is a native of New York. He received a Bachelor’s Degree in massage therapy from Rutgers University, and has been known to correctly answer $100 and $200 Jeopardy questions. He also appreciates the idea of a Masters Degree in Creative Writing from Oregon State University.
While John Box has won countless literary honors, we will not be getting into them here, because frankly, they’re a dime a dozen. But do you know anyone who has ever beaten Super Mario Bros. on one man, without warping? Cause John Box has.
MORE about John Box
In addition to being a lover of classic literature and fine asses, John Box enjoys television, frequently referring to it as “Mommy.”
He also spends a lot of time waiting for others to say, “Well now you know,” so that he may chime in with, “And knowing is half the battle!”
Further, he’s a fan of jaywalking in general, jaywalking in front of police officers, and soliciting others to jaywalk. He is not, however, a fan of wearing fake moustaches in order to arouse laughter in church and is always on the lookout to make a citizen’s arrest for such nonsense.
John Box is available for interviews, appearances, book-signings, birthday parties, Super Bowl XLVI parties, and three ways – no fatties.
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