From My SOC Drawer: What a Dumb Asp!

Me (talking to the driver in front of me yesterday while maneuvering on a sheet of ice): Oh, my gosh, don’t be stupid.

Daughter: What a dumb apple.

Me, half-laughing: I totally thought you were going to say dumb a$$.

Daughter: Of course not.

Me: You shouldn’t say dumb apple, either. (Although I’m still struggling to come up with a good enough reason as to why not. Other than it’s not very nice to call someone names.)

Daughter: It’s better than calling someone a dumb asp.

Me (after a burst of laught...