RANDOM RAMBLINGS_RELATIONSHIP ADVICE_TO GIVE OR NOT

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When someone close to you experiences trials in their relationship, do you give advice or not? When family members, close friends, or co-workers experience difficulties in their relationship they often seek comfort, or guidance from others. They want or need that sounding board to hear their emotions, or frustrations while they vent. At this time the hearing party (you), starts feeling their own way about what the friend/family member/co-worker is going through. And when the person stops venting about their hurt, pain, or frustrations there is pure, sweet silence for one blissful moment...and then you open your mouth. This is the point where reality is altered, or confirmed.

But what comes out? You have two choices...to give or not to give.

Giving advice to someone else usually entails the giver to share with the receiver, how he or she feels about the receiver's situation. The giver is speaking on what he or she would do if he/she was in the situation. Sometimes the giver has been in the situation and they are speaking from experience. As a result, he/she believes his/her advice is sound. But there are a few things they do not take into account:
Everyone's situation is uniquely his or her own and differs from someone else's. Therefore, your outcomes will differ. The person sharing the experience will only tell what he/she wants you to know. Remember people may share but they don't tell EVERY detail. And they usually are going to see themselves as the victim in the situation, whether they are or aren't. They probably are the victim, but this will influence your advice that you give. The old saying is there are always three sides to any story: her side, his side, and the truth.Once you spew your advice be prepared that it may alter the nature of your relationship with the receiver. They will either love you for it, or hate you for it. But at some point down the road it may bring pressure on the relationship you have with them, because you know too much of their personal business now.People may take your advice to heart, and when you don't have all the information you cannot predict what will result from your advice. Everything may turn out fine; conversely lives can be devastated and the blame is pointed at you.Not giving advice usually requires erring on the side of caution. You don't want to get caught up in any drama, so you decide not to become involved. You opt instead to just listen to the person. You tell them you will pray for them and keep them in your thoughts. This method while to some may appear to be a cowardly way out, does a few of the following:

Forces the person to look at his/her situation and make a decision on their own.Preserves your relationship with the person and keeps you out of drama.In some situations you may have a unique perspective to offer. However, withholding your advice could possibly prolong the resolution, when the resolution could have come quicker if you had spoken up.If you decide to provide advice, the best route to take is to make sure you have a clear understanding of what the person is saying to you. Then ensure they understand that what you are speaking is clearly your opinion based on the information they have provided, and nothing more. But the most important aspect is to advise them to get a clear understanding of themselves, and to have a better means of communication with the other person they are in a relationship conflict with. Because once they have an understanding of self, they're in a better situation to make important decisions.

For those with understanding, advice can only go so far. To offer a personal opinion on another's person's life is just that...your opinion.

Do you offer relationship advice to others, or not? If you do, how do you proceed?

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JUST WRITING MY DREAMS,By: C. Michelle Ramseywww.cmichelleramsey.com