So I promised that as soon as Goodreads updated me to author status, I'd post my prologue. So with shaking hands, I'm taking a huge gulp of wine and hitting publish. Enjoy!

*****

I fucking hate you sometimes…

The words replay in my head as if on loop. Like I’ve died and gone to Hell where I’m tortured with those five cruel words over and over again. The words from the same lips that whispered “I love you.” The lips that, at one point, couldn’t wait to say I do. Those beautiful lips that I thought I’d spend the rest of my life kissing. “I fucking hate you…” Yep, definitely Hell.

Hell on Earth, that is. I’m still here. He’s the one who’s gone. The love of what I thought would be my life, the man I married. The one I was so sure I’d wake up to every single morning until the good Lord decided to bring me home. The same man, who, on what was unknowingly his last day, spoke those five heartless, torturous words that he will never, ever get the chance to take back. That man’s gone, and I’m still here, broken and alone.

Look, I’m not a complete idiot. Just an overly dramatic one. I know my husband loved me. He’d loved me for more than seven years, and that hadn’t changed. We’d just spent the morning lying in bed for a few extra minutes so we could be close. He fingered my hair as he told me he loved me and was looking forward to the weekend getaway we had planned. He wasn’t going through the motions; he meant every word as he gave me a preview of what he had planned for our downtown Chicago hotel, if we ever decided to get out of bed and hit the road. It’s just that I can be a raging psycho when I’m PMS’ing, and then throw in a wine hangover and I turn into Satan’s worst nightmare. Every month it’s either intense cramping for four days or my husband wonders where this crazy bitch stashed the sweet woman he married. Suffice it to say, I was not cramping this month.

I understood his frustrations with me when I was like that, and any other time I would’ve just ignored those words because I usually deserved them. I knew he’d end up doing something to make me laugh in the moments that followed because neither of us could stay mad for long. This was different. He’d never used the word hate before. It caught me by surprise and, at the time, I was extremely thankful for the sunglasses on my face as I looked out the window at the fields of towering windmills in the Indiana countryside.

Hate. I hate onions. I hate Ohio drivers in the winter. I hate anything sparkly vampire related. I hate a lot of things, I really do, but it’s a strong emotion that I only use when thinking about trivial things. My husband, though? Never, not once, have I ever felt hatred towards him, and it tore me in two to hear him say those words. And what’s worse is that I’ll never hear him say anything again.

We never did make it to Chicago. I don’t remember much about that accident. Actually, I don’t remember the accident. A car accident. I used to think that was so cliché. Couldn’t you be a little more creative? And now, here I am, widowed at 26 because of a damn car accident that I have no memory of, only splotchy nightmares that only give me snippets of what happened.

The eye witness and police reports said that a young college student was running late to get on to the Purdue campus for his early afternoon classes. He cut us off, clipping the front end of our car. We ended up spinning into oncoming traffic where we were hit by an SUV on the driver’s side. He was killed instantly. I was knocked unconscious. When I woke up the next day in an Indianapolis hospital, I knew.

“Mrs. Tate, I wish we could have done something, but he was killed on impact. Take solace in knowing that he felt no pain...” the doctor continued, but his words were drowned out in my mind, replaced by others.

I fucking hate you sometimes.


Ignite
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Published on July 23, 2013 16:50 • 1,842 views
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message 1: by Jenni (last edited Jul 23, 2013 05:08PM) (new)

Jenni LOVE IT Tessa...I'm so happy for you :) Excellent writing...no doubt it's going to be a hit!


message 2: by Giulie (new)

Giulie Kiessling Wow!!!!!! Looks amazing! ;)


message 3: by Christine (new)

Christine Love it. :)


message 4: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan Jennifer wrote: "LOVE IT Tessa...I'm so happy for you :) Excellent writing...no doubt it's going to be a hit!"

Thanks, Jennifer! I hope you end up liking it!


message 5: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan Giulie wrote: "Wow!!!!!! Looks amazing! ;)"

I love to hear you say that! Thanks!!


message 6: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan Christine wrote: "Love it. :)"

Thanks, Christine! This has been so fun :)


message 7: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan Melissa *Pervy Kitten* wrote: "Love it Tessy!! <3 but I need more asap! Lmao!! ;)"

Thanks, Pervy!! I'm working hard on finishing it!


message 8: by Christine (new)

Christine Tessa wrote: "Christine wrote: "Love it. :)"

Thanks, Christine! This has been so fun :)"


Can't wait to read it!!!


message 9: by Mallory (new)

Mallory So good, Tessa! You should be proud, and I can't wait for more.


message 10: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan Mallory wrote: "So good, Tessa! You should be proud, and I can't wait for more."

Thanks, Mallory! I'm going to go ahead and warn you... there's mean girl named Mallory. I promise you weren't the inspiration! :D


message 11: by Megan (new)

Megan Excellent! Looking forward to more.


message 12: by Mallory (new)

Mallory Tessa wrote: "Mallory wrote: "So good, Tessa! You should be proud, and I can't wait for more."

Thanks, Mallory! I'm going to go ahead and warn you... there's mean girl named Mallory. I promise you weren't the i..."


I promise I won't hold it against you. And if she's a bitch, then I'll probably hate her anyway haha


message 13: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan Mallory wrote: "Tessa wrote: "Mallory wrote: "So good, Tessa! You should be proud, and I can't wait for more."

Thanks, Mallory! I'm going to go ahead and warn you... there's mean girl named Mallory. I promise you..."


Yes, you definitely will! She's only in a small part.


message 14: by * Meli Mel * (new)

* Meli Mel * OMG! I can't wait! Good work, Tessa! :)


message 15: by Assenette (new)

Assenette Wow!! I am looking forward to reading more!!!! Great job Tessa.


message 16: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan Meli Mel *Ty and Zane's Creeper* wrote: "OMG! I can't wait! Good work, Tessa! :)"

Thanks, Meli!!


message 17: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan Assenette wrote: "Wow!! I am looking forward to reading more!!!! Great job Tessa."

Thank you! I'm hoping it won't be too long before I'm finished!


message 18: by S.R. (new)

S.R. Grey Tessa! This is so awesome---adding now! :D


message 19: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan S.R. wrote: "Tessa! This is so awesome---adding now! :D"

Thank you!!!


message 20: by J. (new)

J. McCoy HOLY SHIT, TESSA!!!!

Tears and goosies.

Well fucking done!!!


message 21: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan JenIW_BookNook wrote: "HOLY SHIT, TESSA!!!!

Tears and goosies.

Well fucking done!!!"


LOVE! Perfect reaction. That's how I feel everytime I relive this for Lexi.


message 22: by Anne OK (new)

Anne OK You've caught my attention and piqued my interest, Tessa! Can't wait to read more. I'm so excited for you in this exciting endeavor.


message 23: by Jill (new)

Jill Ouuuu!! I can't wait to read the finished product!


message 24: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan AnneOK wrote: "You've caught my attention and piqued my interest, Tessa! Can't wait to read more. I'm so excited for you in this exciting endeavor."

Thank you, Anne! This prologue killed me! But it'll be worth it!


message 25: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan Jill wrote: "Ouuuu!! I can't wait to read the finished product!"

Thank you Jill!!!! It means so much to know you want to continue this story!


message 26: by Liz (new)

Liz B R I L L I A N T <--- Want this book like yesterday Tessa!!


message 27: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan Liz wrote: "B R I L L I A N T <--- Want this book like yesterday Tessa!!"

Thank you, Liz!! Your support means more than anything!


message 28: by Simone (new)

Simone Really looking forward to this, sounds great!


message 29: by Cassandra (new)

Cassandra Adding it to my to read list right now. Also I must say I really like your name. Tessa Teevan sounds very distinguished to me.Very posh. I look forward to reading the rest of your book.
Cassie Lynne :)


message 30: by Karrie (new)

Karrie HOLY PROLOGUE!!!! Can't wait to read the book!!!!!


message 31: by Bayli (new)

Bayli Tessa, AMAZING!!!! Wow. I cried. Can't wait to read more!


message 32: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan AnneOK wrote: "You've caught my attention and piqued my interest, Tessa! Can't wait to read more. I'm so excited for you in this exciting endeavor."

Thanks, Anne!!


message 33: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan Bayli wrote: "Tessa, AMAZING!!!! Wow. I cried. Can't wait to read more!"

That's what I'm going for ;)


message 34: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan Cassandra wrote: "Adding it to my to read list right now. Also I must say I really like your name. Tessa Teevan sounds very distinguished to me.Very posh. I look forward to reading the rest of your book.
Cassie Lynn..."


Thank you! It's my married name, and I think it's pretty great, too!!


message 35: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan Karrie wrote: "HOLY PROLOGUE!!!! Can't wait to read the book!!!!!"

Thank you!


message 36: by Mallory (new)

Mallory So, Tessa. There's a psycho bitch on this Lifetime movie named Mallory. It's definitely the go to name for that. I just thought it was hilarious... the name Mallory must have a bitchy aura to it. So you're not alone.


message 37: by Tessa (new)

Tessa Teevan JenIW_BookNook wrote: "HOLY SHIT, TESSA!!!!

Tears and goosies.

Well fucking done!!!"


If you ever want a sneak peek, let me know!


message 38: by Maia (new)

Maia Can't wait to read it! Already drawn in and want more! :)


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