Before I Let Go and Let God

Let go and let God is the advice

My minister gave to me.

He said whenever I feel disturbed, just be still and let things be.

He said I don’t have to carry any burden all on my own;

That if I let go and if I let God,

A miraculous way will be shown.

I’m going to let go and I’m going to let God.

I believe what my minister says is true.

However, because my boss is so mean to me, there are a few other things I have to do too.

I’m going to beat my boss in his big head with this steel office chair.

I’ll pour gasoline on his scalp before I pull out each strand of his hair.

I will pull his tiny eyeballs out with my two bare hands,

And dice up his nasty, lying tongue

And put the pieces in the trash cans.

I shall squash his fingers and bash up his toes,

While squeezing his heart until no blood flows.

I’ll fling a sharp object into his hairy back,

And hang his fatty ribs from a butchers meat rack.

And after I twist both of his legs around this hot iron rod

And stomp on him with football cleats till he’s as limp as broiled cod;

Then, I’m going to sit down at my office desk and have myself some lunch.

I’m going to have a Caesar salad and a bottle of raspberry punch.

Then, I’m going to play a little Marvin Gaye on my new iPod.

Then, close my eyes — inhale — exhale

Now, I let go and let God.

~ WB

Tagged: Autobiography, Black woman, Funny story, Life, office worker, Thoughts, Wambui Bahati