Why I Won’t Worry

Last month, my wife, who was 27 week pregnant, told me she had to go to the doctor because of some bleeding and back cramping during the night. We’d already had a couple trips to the ER for similar issues so I didn’t think much of it.

When Jen called that afternoon, it was obvious something was very wrong. She was at the hospital and had begun preterm labor, was already dilated, starting contractions, and the baby’s head was showing. I assured her everything would be fine and asked her to relax while I googled every term she’d thrown at me, trying to determine how common it was, what the baby’s odds would be if he were born so early.

I tried to sound positive on the phone, but my thoughts had turned to worst case scenarios, memories of the first pregnancy where our daughter was whisked away to the NICU because she wasn’t breathing. That experience scared the hell out of me and was one of the big reasons why I wasn’t so sure about having another child (That and how much I enjoy what little sleep I currently get.)

Here’s a piece of flash fiction it inspired.

Everyone worries to some degree and you’ll hear people say it’s a natural part of life. It’s easy to get caught up in it. Especially if you’re like me and have spent your entire life worrying about everything, something bound to happen with an Italian grandmother who worried like it was part of her job description.

After I got off the phone with Jen, I headed to the hospital and was able to refocus, everything I’ve learned and accepted in the past few years coming back strong. I wasn’t going to worry and I wasn’t going to let her either. Jen was understandably scared, but my positive attitude definitely helped her more than it irritated. She began to accept that no amount of worrying would change a thing except possibly bringing the baby earlier.

Some people may read this and think that I just don’t care, but I assure you that’s not the case. There’s also a big difference between being worried and being prepared. You can still figure out the best way to handle a situation without it causing needless stress or strain. Remember that no amount of worrying about a possible tragedy will prepare you if it does occur. You won’t mourn the loss of a loved one any less because you’ve spent everyday worrying they might die.

The father in Brightside might have been kind of a dick about the way he raised his son in this regard, but his head was in the right place:

I’m not going to make it if I keep thinking like this. I have to stay positive, get through the day. That’s what Dad also said. “Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. And if it doesn’t come, then your worries are over.”

For those of you who find yourself worrying way more than you should, check out the list of what worrying can do to your body and understand there’s no need for it. One of the books that helped me quite a bit, was The Power of Now. If you live in the moment and realize that thinking about the past or future is pointless, then worry goes out the window.

Plus, if Jake is anything like my wife or daughter, he’s going to be a fighter. There’s no quit in either one of them and I know he’ll be just fine.