The Last STAC Excerpts… for now

There are just two more days to the launch of The Chocolate Egg Murders, the seventh STAC Mystery. Here now are extracts from STAC Mysteries #5 and 6#, beginning with…

Murder at the Murder Mystery Weekend

It’s New Year and the Sanford 3rd Age Club are making for the Twin Spires Hotel in Lincoln where the entertainment consists of a Murder Mystery Weekend. Here, the director of the murder mystery, Melanie Markham is confessing her worries to the cast.

“The hotel is busy over the weekend,” Melanie announced, bringing her mind back to the problem at hand.

“I’m relieved to hear it,” said Gerry. “Nothing worse than playing to a half empty house.”

“Yes, well, I’ve just been informed that one of the parties is the Sanford 3rd Age Club. About seventy of them.”

Lee Sissons, one of the younger men, laughed. “A shed load of geriatrics. Wassup, Melanie? You worried they’ve all got Alzheimer’s?”

Melanie frowned her disapproval. “The Sanford 3rd Age Club is one of Accomplus’s biggest customers, and I’m assured that they are not a mob of geriatrics. They’re more like a bunch of third age rockers. Anyway, it’s not the club I’m worried about. It’s their Chairman; Joe Murray.”

Puzzlement greeted the announcement.

“Joe who?”

Melanie took another mouthful of coffee. “Really, Gerry, I expect better of you. Here we are, preparing and presenting our own murder mysteries, yet none of you can be bothered with any research. Remember I-Spy, the reality TV series, at Gibraltar Hall during the summer? One of the Housies was murdered.”

“Oh, yes. Ursula, er, Kennedy,” Gerry said.

“Kenney. Ursula Kenney,” Melanie corrected. “Joe Murray was the detective who solved it. He worked out who did it and how, and why if I recall correctly.”

“He’s a cop?” asked Danielle McMahon, one of the younger women.

“No. He’s a private investigator of sorts. The police were sure Ursula’s death was suicide. They didn’t believe anyone could get to her with all those cameras running day and night. It was Joe Murray who demonstrated that it couldn’t have been suicide, and he then proceeded to show the police how it was done and eventually showed them who did it.”

“A wizard?” Lee said.

Melanie nodded and finished her coffee. “He solved the murder of an MP at another of Accomplus’s hotels near York, he also solved the killing of an academic at a five star place in Leeds last Christmas. He is a master. You can’t fool him.”

Gerry swilled the remains of his tea around his cup and swallowed it in one gulp. “And he’s coming here to see us? Wonder what he’ll make of our little mystery?”

“Mincemeat.”

Murder Mystery Weekend is available for download from:

Amazon (Kindle)

Smashwords (all formats)

Crooked Cat Books (MOBI, EPUB, PDF)

And in paperback from :

Amazon

***

My Deadly Valentine

The sixth STAC Mystery was released a week before Valentine’s Day and was the first  of the series to enter the Amazon British Detective top 100 on the day of its release. It’s been in that chart ever since.

Here Joe, who has been questioned about a murder, is visiting a supermarket cafeteria with his niece, Detective Sergeant Gemma Craddock of Sanford CID. For Joe, the café bears no resemblance to his own establishment, as he learns when he finds he has to fill his own teapot at the service counter.

“You know the word service, as in self-service? Did they skip that bit when they thought of this place?”

“I’m only doing my job, sir,” the lad replied. “As I was taught on my training course.”

Joe moved along to the checkout. “You had training?”

“Two days.” The assistant took Joe’s money and rang it up. “You’ve obviously never been here before.”

“Why would I? I run a café on Doncaster Road. When I do eat elsewhere, it’s usually in pubs or proper restaurants, not alleged fast food places. You want to get on in catering, lad, this is not the place to learn.”

“I don’t want to get on in catering. I took this job because it was the only one I could get with my degree.”

Joe’s eyebrows rose. “You have a degree?

“Astrophysics.”

With a shake of the head, Joe took his teapots away. “A degree in astrophysics and you end up serving in a dump like this? What a waste of taxpayers’ money.”

“I agree,” the youngster said, “but there aren’t that many vacancies for astrophysicists in Sanford.”

Joe moved to the cutlery rack, collected tiny portions of milk and sachets of sugar, and then frowned again.

“Hey, Einstein, there are no teaspoons here.”

The young man, his features as flushed as his smart, mauve uniform, came over, and pulled out a wooden stirrer. “We don’t use teaspoons, sir. These are cheaper, they cut down on washing up, and people don’t steal them.”

Joe’s face crumpled to a familiar scowl. “You know, son, I had the misfortune to be married once. The missus dragged me all over Europe. It was sheer hell, but I’ll say this for it: everywhere I went, when I ordered tea or coffee, it was served by a waiter or waitress, and I got a spoon with it.” He reached into one of the other drawers and took out a knife. “I refuse to stir my tea with a wooden stick.”

The youngster scowled back. “I don’t suppose there’s any point reminding you to please clear the table, either.”

“Am I the customer or an employee?”

“We ask that customers clear away after them.”

“And then what? You want me to mop the floors?”

My Deadly Valentine is available for download from:

Amazon (Kindle)

Smashwords (all formats)

Crooked Cat Books (MOBI, EPUB, PDF)

And in paperback from :

Amazon

***

The Chocolate Egg Murders, the seventh STAC Mystery is released on Wednesday March 20th. Everyone is welcome at the Facebook launch party.