I Strive for Better Control of My Temper, or, The Link Between the Desire for Control and Anger.

One of my more disagreeable faults is my irritability. I lose my temper easily; I "speak in a mean voice" as my daughters describe it; I become impatient and act annoyed; I feel anxious about something, so I snap at my family; I feel criticized, so I lash out.

Dozens of my resolutions are aimed at helping me to be more calm, cheerful, and lighthearted – everything from Turn out the light to Make my bed to Quit nagging to Quit drinking (more or less).

One thing puzzles me. When I know I'm...