Looking for a New Word
I think we need a new word for "friend".
The term that at one time meant so much has been so diluted, it has become cliche. It has become a descriptive for people both known and not. It has become a verb, an adjective and a pronoun.
It has become so watered down as a sentiment, I almost lost a true friendship because of the word's overuse all around me. Without realizing it, I had belittled the term down to a blase designation, a term used offhandedly instead of as a title bestowed on me with careful thought, consideration and emotional backing.
The first definition of "friend" in dictionary.com is listed as a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. , which is what the word used to be as given.
Now with social media, "friend" has become more the last definition: to add (a person) to one's list of contacts on a social-networking Web site.
Right now on Facebook, I have 752 'friends'; on Twitter, I have 80 (although the site calls them 'followers', people say "We're friends on Twitter"); on LJ, I have 87 'friends', 83 'mutual friends', and am 'also a friend' of 111 others.
I will admit, I have 'friends' I've never met. I've talked to them for years, know a lot about their lives, have 'shared' moments with them, even though it was only online. But in the past, they would be more 'pen pals' then friends...
I also have 'friends' that I do know and see a few times a year, but they're from the convention circuit. This isn't a bad thing, per se, but most live states away, and although I've known many of them for years, they have known KT (not necessarily the 'real' me) for the same amount of time. It's not that they don't know parts of the real me, but a 'true friend' knows the whole me (the poor things!) not the bits and pieces that are seen during convention weekends.
I do have one or two 'confriends' that I am closer to, mainly from knowing them for more than a decade, but still...
I have 'friends' that I've known since elementary school. Some are people I'd like to actually rebuild a friendship with, but life has made many of them just icons on a screen.
I guess what I need is a word to use instead of the term 'friend' that is defined - in all places - on urbandictionary.com as:
A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.
A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn't mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you.
A friend is someone who not only doesn't care if you're ugly or boring, but doesn't even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don't know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you're being stupid, but who doesn't make you feel stupid.
A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don't even think about who's talking or who's listening in a conversation with a friend.
A friend is someone for whom you're willing to change your opinions. A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn't matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.
A friend is a partner, not a leader or a follower.
I dunno. To me, a person like that should be called more than just 'friend'...
The term that at one time meant so much has been so diluted, it has become cliche. It has become a descriptive for people both known and not. It has become a verb, an adjective and a pronoun.
It has become so watered down as a sentiment, I almost lost a true friendship because of the word's overuse all around me. Without realizing it, I had belittled the term down to a blase designation, a term used offhandedly instead of as a title bestowed on me with careful thought, consideration and emotional backing.
The first definition of "friend" in dictionary.com is listed as a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. , which is what the word used to be as given.
Now with social media, "friend" has become more the last definition: to add (a person) to one's list of contacts on a social-networking Web site.
Right now on Facebook, I have 752 'friends'; on Twitter, I have 80 (although the site calls them 'followers', people say "We're friends on Twitter"); on LJ, I have 87 'friends', 83 'mutual friends', and am 'also a friend' of 111 others.
I will admit, I have 'friends' I've never met. I've talked to them for years, know a lot about their lives, have 'shared' moments with them, even though it was only online. But in the past, they would be more 'pen pals' then friends...
I also have 'friends' that I do know and see a few times a year, but they're from the convention circuit. This isn't a bad thing, per se, but most live states away, and although I've known many of them for years, they have known KT (not necessarily the 'real' me) for the same amount of time. It's not that they don't know parts of the real me, but a 'true friend' knows the whole me (the poor things!) not the bits and pieces that are seen during convention weekends.
I do have one or two 'confriends' that I am closer to, mainly from knowing them for more than a decade, but still...
I have 'friends' that I've known since elementary school. Some are people I'd like to actually rebuild a friendship with, but life has made many of them just icons on a screen.
I guess what I need is a word to use instead of the term 'friend' that is defined - in all places - on urbandictionary.com as:
A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.
A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn't mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you.
A friend is someone who not only doesn't care if you're ugly or boring, but doesn't even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don't know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you're being stupid, but who doesn't make you feel stupid.
A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don't even think about who's talking or who's listening in a conversation with a friend.
A friend is someone for whom you're willing to change your opinions. A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn't matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.
A friend is a partner, not a leader or a follower.
I dunno. To me, a person like that should be called more than just 'friend'...
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