Indy book review: SPACE JUNK by Ryan Thomas

Another
free book I discovered from the Kindleboards, an online forum for independent
authors, readers, and Kindle owners alike. Since I made the purchase, its price
has been hiked to ninety-nine cents. So let’s see if your dollar is worth it:







 



Story



 



Space Junk is a short story about… very
little. It opens with Chuck reflecting briefly on a conversation he had at a
high school reunion with an old friend who became a best selling author. After
he gets home, he tells his wife that he wants to quit work and become a
bestselling author over a not so thought out six month period. Naturally his
wife says that sounds like a great idea, and the story that follows maintains the
same level of lighthearted amateurism you’d expect from an early college level
creative writing class. The characters are shallow. The writing is formal and
heavily structured. To take a line from the second page. When Chuck’s twelve
year old daughter arrives home from school, Chuck asks in a tone I took as
robotic, “Why are you home from school at this time?”



           



A list of
alternatives to that line:



“Why are you home early?”
“You’re home early.”
“Shouldn’t you be in school?”
“Why the hell aren’t you at school?”
“Why aren’t you in school there, missy?”




 



Dialogue never quite comes off as natural and the result is a
distinct lack of personality from anyone. At least, none more than shown in the
opening four lines. Regrettably, these lines are a list of the four main
characters. Chuck, his wife, their two children, and all of their ages. And
none of them develop too far beyond that defining number.



Over all, the story is just a series of quant conversations
between Chuck and his other family members. Of those, the only interesting ones
come from the twelve year old daughter, who over the course of the story starts
a band, is friends with a girl who punches out an actor from Star Wars fame, and dabbles in feminism
and puberty. The one genuinely great moment in the story comes from the
daughter announcing one of two names for her new punk band. We Stomp on Butterflies. The
conversation that follows the announcement goes on to another flat joke or two,
but I applaud Thomas for coming up with the name.



I know. I’m weak. But there’s something hilariously adorable
about the idea of a twelve year old Joan Jett rocking out on stage.



But getting back to the review, you may have perked up at the
mention of a Star Wars character
getting punched out. The story is actually full of not-quite-right Star Wars
references. The wife role plays with Chuck, calling herself Leia and him Hans. No,
that’s not a typo. Hans. With an S. And
she grabs his lightsaber. Not his blaster (which is more hilarious by name
alone). His lightsaber.



            Not that I’m the biggest Star Wars
fan, and I should probably be rambling on a bit more over the fact that the
wife’s only real role in the story is that she’s a sex object who role plays at
Princess Leia, but if you’re going to reference something as globally obsessed
over as Star Wars, at least double
check the spelling of the character’s name. And given that our protagonist,
Chuck, is supposed to be writing a science fiction story and claims that
science fiction is in his blood, I’d like to know the author has done his
homework beyond Star Wars. Granted,
there’s a major plot point and a couple of jokes based around that franchise in
particular, but when you advertise a story as a glimpse into the depraved mind
of a science fiction author, I want to think there’s some weight behind that
statement.



            The story as a whole is floaty. From
that tone, it commits a cardinal sin I absolutely do not want to see in any
fiction, indy or otherwise. All of the conflicts within the story are more or
less mentioned. A book gets plagiarized. Two lines later, problem solved. Chuck
becomes an author, develops a drinking problem, and has recovered from his mild
bout with alcoholism within the span two pages. Zero impact on the family. The
character development is… I’m going to go with passive. The only purpose it serves is a couple of one-liners in
dialogue. And I wouldn’t mention it except that it’s one of the stories huge
missed opportunities. This could have been a wickedly dark comedy of a man who
dreams of success, falls into alcoholism, puts his family through hardships,
and when it seems he’s finally about to get his moment, it turns out he’s been plagiarizing
or writing crappy fan fiction all along. If the author really took the time to
develop his idea, he could have had something. As is, events happen, the story
plods along, and eventually… it stops.



 



Editing



 



Overall
the formatting on the Kindle was good. Along with Hans Solo, I did catch a few typos. But for the most part the editing, spelling, and format
was up to par with other indy writers.



 



Price



 



Well,
it was free when I purchased it. Ninety-nine cents is the lowest price available
to Kindle authors, so when not being given a free promotion, that’s what you
can expect. Honestly, even at free, I’m having a hard time recommending the
story.



 



Overall



 



Space Junk could have been a good story.
If presented in a writing workshop I’d go on and on about its potential. There
were some light laughs throughout, and the misadventures of the daughter are
generally comical and a definite highlight. But as a published piece, there are
a lot of flaws to consider. The underdeveloped characters, clunky use of
language, lack of layers, and absence of any real conflict make it difficult to
recommend. At its best the story reads like a poorly written tale of a man
writing bad fiction. That could’ve been hilarious had it been the intention. But
even if it was the case, I never got the sense the author was disciplined enough in his
craft to make it work. One star out of five.