Mayhem on the patio

I recently was cutting down a small tree on my patio, and at one point I put a saw into my pocket and reached down with both hands to pull out an obstinate root. Suddenly, the root snapped loose, and my hand went flying backward with the force of a 3,650-man army, right onto the saw.

It sliced into my pinky, all the way down to the bone.

I went to the ER to get it fixed, and as the doc sewed me up he asked me what happened. I told him the honest truth.

"You're a writer," he said. "Can't you come...