Call Security! We have a creeper in WalWorld

I teach middle school, so anyone who knows these kids knows that we deserve a medal for what we do to inspire these kiddos and survive from day to day. We have a dodge ball tournament coming up, and the staff team will be wearing super hero garb, so I need to get a costume put together. This means a trip to Wal-world for some items for my super hero, The Grammar Hammer. Hey, I teach English so it fits.

Some moron decided they needed tights to make the super hero attire complete, and that idiot was me. I am lost in the women’s section in search of tights when two elderly women begin to take notice. They don’t ask questions; they assume the worst and stare at me with evil eyes as I take a wrong turn into a world of women’s underwear. Not good. I am sensing their disapproval with me by the judging looks that only a grandmother can give.

I scurry off to locate another item on my list before I return once more to find my super hero tights, hoping the coast is clear. While scanning the stockings for the color I need, which wasn’t there by the way, the two women peek around the corner followed by a Wal-world security team. Okay it was one guy who walked with a limp, but I did what any man would do if innocently caught in the women’s underwear section with two old women and a security guy closing in for the kill…

I ran. I mean, I took off. I booked it out of there. I lost them in pet food and quickly headed to a self-check stand to pay. I scurried out the door and texted my wife in route to freedom, “You will be picking up the tights!!!!!”

Now I have to drive an extra six miles to go to Wal-world because I am worried my face is posted somewhere in the one near my home. Yep, I should get a medal for all that I do to inspire middle school students.