Things I Thought Only Happened in ’50s Sitcoms

I was supposed to meet at a friend’s house last night, so I stuffed myself into my parka, boots, & gloves and head out. Get to the building at 7:33 & text her so she knows to come down & give me a parking pass…7:37, no word, so I phone & leave a message…7:40, am now convinced my friend is lying in a pool of her own blood in her house…try to be macho and NOT go inside and demand the manager let me into her condo…7:41, pep-talking myself, “Give it ’till 7:43, then it’ll be 10 minutes and you ca...