The Hotel Enigma
I've just returned from a book tour to promote my new Lady Georgie novel, The Twelve Clues of Christmas. After a week of staying in some very snooty hotels, I am left puzzled about certain things, downright grouchy about others.
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1. Why does anyone actually need thirty four pillows on the bed? It seems the more expensive the hotel, the more pillows you get. And I throw all of them onto a chair except one
2. Why does a hotel that charges several hundred dollars a night put really cheap toilet paper in the bathroom? I can afford Charmin double thick. Surely they can too.It would be suitable if they had designer TP maybe with the hotel crest embossed into it. But I'd be content with something thick enough that it doesn't break to pieces when I try to tear it off.
3. Why can't faucets in hotel bathrooms all work the same way? Why does it take me half an hour to figure out how to turn on the shower, and get hit in the face with icy water in the proecess?
4. Aren't hotel bedrooms supposed to be restful places? Then why put scary pictures on walls, strange pieces of artwork on tables. All I want to do is sleep, not admire art, and a large image of a faceless man staring down at me is not going to help.
5. How can anyone charge fifteen dollars for a continental breakfast without blushing with guilt? I agree that one has to pay a cook to prepare something, but one croissant and tea surely don't take much preparing, apart from putting it onto a plate.
6.And on the subject of food--why this need to come up with strange, new, untried combinations of flavor. I don't actually want pork cheeks with scallops, or anything with organic striped figs. After a long day grilled cheese and tomato soup sounds good to me.
Do you have any pet hotel beefs? Have you ever found the perfect hotel?
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1. Why does anyone actually need thirty four pillows on the bed? It seems the more expensive the hotel, the more pillows you get. And I throw all of them onto a chair except one2. Why does a hotel that charges several hundred dollars a night put really cheap toilet paper in the bathroom? I can afford Charmin double thick. Surely they can too.It would be suitable if they had designer TP maybe with the hotel crest embossed into it. But I'd be content with something thick enough that it doesn't break to pieces when I try to tear it off.
3. Why can't faucets in hotel bathrooms all work the same way? Why does it take me half an hour to figure out how to turn on the shower, and get hit in the face with icy water in the proecess?
4. Aren't hotel bedrooms supposed to be restful places? Then why put scary pictures on walls, strange pieces of artwork on tables. All I want to do is sleep, not admire art, and a large image of a faceless man staring down at me is not going to help.5. How can anyone charge fifteen dollars for a continental breakfast without blushing with guilt? I agree that one has to pay a cook to prepare something, but one croissant and tea surely don't take much preparing, apart from putting it onto a plate.
6.And on the subject of food--why this need to come up with strange, new, untried combinations of flavor. I don't actually want pork cheeks with scallops, or anything with organic striped figs. After a long day grilled cheese and tomato soup sounds good to me.
Do you have any pet hotel beefs? Have you ever found the perfect hotel?
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Bookish
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Nov 21, 2012 04:28PM
That actually looks like horror film star of old Vincent Price, albeit in a wind tunnel. How comforting to have him glare down on one. I'm nearly asleep just thinking of Price in The Pit and the Pendulum.
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I know what you mean with the pillows, it's mad! I grew up in Germany and we got one pillow and that's that.The expensive breakfast is ridiculous too, but what can you do, I suppose. The worst is the mini bar, it's like a trap. But overall, aren't hotels fun:)
I once stayed in a hotel with a scary framed painting similar to the one above. I put my long raincoat over it so I did not have to see the scary thing while I was in the room.among hotel pet peeves:
thinking that you are getting an apple juice from the refrigerator and discovering the price tag on the bottle, indicating that if you drink it, that price will be added to your hotel bill. That applies to nuts, candy bars, trial mix, little wine bottles, etc.
The perfect "hotels" for me were in Europe. Not sure why. Perhaps it is because I am "old-fashioned".
Try Air BnB. You can pick as up-scale or down- but you know what you're getting and you don't pay for what you don't want. I have nice toilet paper for my guests and no scary pictures. : )
The only place I had trouble figuring out the faucets was in Scotland. I use two pillows and Hubby uses four or five, so I don't worry about lots of them, but my pet peeve is that they often use down pillows and don't bother to tell you. I once woke up in the middle of the night with a scary asthma attack for that reason in a hotel in St. Louis. Both daughters and one grandson also are allergic to down. I always request no down when I make reservations, but when I get there, nobody seems to know anything about my request. Hotels that use down pillows should put big warning signs on them.
