Held Hostage

I've always wanted to be held hostage.

Not because of the messy bits – being blindfolded, asking permission to use the restroom, the failed escape, the proof of life, or even the Stockholm syndrome – but because of Barbara Walters.

If you're held hostage and are released, you are pretty much guaranteed an interview by Ms. Walters. I'm not talking the View here. I'm talking 20/20 where the sharpness of Ms. Walter's questions are inversely proportional to the softness of the lighting. The...