What a Difference a Day Makes
Those of you that have just met me in the last few years probably have a much different understanding of who I am than those who’ve known me most of my life. I’ve made some serious changes in the way I view the world and I’m a much happier person because of it. I believe in focusing on the positive and not worrying about the past or present. This last week however was a struggle and Monday I came close to losing it.
There are quite a few reasons why I got so stressed out, but none of them are acceptable. In case you didn’t see this post, my wife and I are expecting another child. I’m excited about it, but the thought of losing new found free time, which is really work time, is a bit of a bummer. What really impacted me was the frustration at my inability to help my wife as she’s struggling through her all-freaking-day sickness. On top of that, I’ve been averaging about five hours of sleep while researching eBook marketing in preparation for Brightside’s free days on Amazon and scheduling reviews. To add to that I was also trying to answer author interviews, write guest posts, watch Unlocking the Cage videos, finalize my new horror short story collection, decide on a cover for 25 Perfect Days, polish those stories, and deal with the disappointment of Brightside’s print edition being once again delayed.
Please don’t think I’m bitching or want sympathy. The above issues are nothing that should have stressed me out and I know an unbelievable number of people who would gladly switch places. I lost sight of this though and put these unrealistic and unnecessary deadlines and expectations on myself. Monday night I was at my wits end, reverting back to the negative prick, smacking my head for being an idiot, disgusted with my inability to get everything done.
After reading Repackaged Presents
for the twentieth time and finally uploading it to Amazon at 1 a.m., incorrectly of course because I was in such a bad place, I went to bed, tossing and turning, nightmares of half-eaten faces and knives ripping through bellies. When I woke to my alarm five hours later, I did not want to get out of bed. I’d made a commitment though and wasn’t going to cancel again. Still in a terrible mood, I grabbed all my gear and drove nearly two hours to get to Temecula, time for some more Unlocking the Cage.
Heading to a new gym can cause some anxiety, especially when you’re an out of shape forty-year-old who knows the next hour and a half isn’t going to be pretty. Fortunately, I’d already spent some time talking on the radio with the American Top Team Temecula owner, Fabiano Silva, and knew he was a pretty special individual. Generally, if the owner’s a good person, his fighters will be as well. ATT did not disappoint me.
Just like most of the other 55 gyms I’ve been to in the last five months, everyone at the school went out of their way to welcome me, not because I’m an author, but just because that’s what you do when a new person comes to train. MMA is like a brotherhood, a camaraderie that’s hard to beat. The training was great and got my mind off my problems. When all you’re thinking of is trying not to puke on your partner, other issues don’t cross your mind. When you’re so exhausted all you want is to sit down and sip some water, worrying about how your wife is doing is no longer a priority.
Although I was physically wiped out after the morning session, I was excited the fighters were up for some interviews. It’s always a treat to talk with fighters and I never know what to expect. First up was Kris, the guy bringing it the hardest during stand up. Turns out he’s a pastor. Yeah, pretty damn interesting. Roberto and Brandon were next, two young men at the start of their careers. All three of them had a different story, but they all had one thing in common: they were genuinely good people. They’d also shed close to three hundred pounds between them, another testament to how MMA changes lives.
I could have spent over an hour talking with each of these guys but kept it short to fit in as many as possible. I had hoped to interview Alexis, a young female fighter who will leave a mark on the sport, and Fabiano but there wasn’t enough time. That’s okay though because I plan on making ATT Temecula a regular stop.
After the interviews, I had lunch with Fabiano, which confirmed that I’d need some serious time to hear his whole story. He’s a great guy and I can understand why his students speak so highly of him. When I returned later that night for another session, I had the pleasure of playing with his son who’s in kindergarten. The little guy’s a handful, full of life and laughter, a sign that his parents shower him with love.
The second workout wasn’t as intense as the first one, but I learned some incredibly practical and efficient moves. I love Fabiano’s teaching style and his approach to training. I’ve never been one to even attempt takedowns, but he taught me some cool shit I can’t wait to try out.
The game plan was to hang out for the third session, but I called it quits after two. I still had an hour and a half drive and my thoughts were back to my family. I made it home just in time to read my daughter her bedtime story and talk about her day. She told me it was pretty good and asked how mine went, if I got too beat up. I showed her there were no bruises and told her the best part, that I’d made some new friends. It’s what I tell her every time I get back from a gym and I really feel like it’s true. Even though I may not spend a lot of time with each of these guys I meet, I do feel a connection. These men and women share a big part of themselves in these interviews and I can’t help but like them. They motivate me, inspire me, make me want to be a better person. And it’s not because they’re fighters. Every one of us has a story. Every one of us has been in pain. If we stop judging and put ourselves in another person’s shoes, it’s so much easier to understand and accept one another.
I stayed up that night for another four hours trying to catch up on my work, but I no longer felt like it was something I had to do. The day made me realize I’m a very fortunate man. I have an incredible family and am meeting positive people every day. I’m refocused on what’s important in life and for that I’m very grateful.
