The Erotic, Menacing Mr. Spock

Spock is the Man. Yeah, Kirk is fun in that swashbuckley way and McCoy is just freakin' hilarious, but Spock is the Man. His cool detachment and otherworldly logic make for a fantastic character study. He is the perfect example of how reserve and quiet in a character can say so much.

Point the First: Spock is Scary. The blustering swagger of James T. Kirk lets us all know who's in charge of the U.S.S Enterprise. But guys like Kirk? You can take out guys like that. You know he's smart, you know he's clever, and you know he'll never go down without swinging, but, really, his bravado could be easily undone.

By contrast, there is Mr. Spock, who can, despite his wispy frame, military press a 300-pound boulder without so much as a quivering upper lip. And Spock, like the chess master he is, is one of those guys that you know will always be able to outthink you. But under all that are flashes of the savage Mr. Spock, whose barely contained human half is always close to tearing through his Vulcan logic. 

And a scary thought occurs -- if you hit Spock hard enough in the right area of his brain, he would lose his ability to outthink the emotional cauldron that keeps his inferiority issues and personal distaste of human frailties at bay. Like most quiet guys, Spock is menacing because he isn't rattled by anything and because he doesn't talk about what he does or doesn't know. You know that he could pull your legs off and kick what's left of your ass with them and his heart rate will never increase. 

In the John Wayne way, you could see getting into a fight with Kirk and then having a beer with him after. But I dare you to find anybody you know who would actually want to fuck with Mr. Spock.

Point the Second: Spock is Sexy. For all Kirk's womanizing, the indisputable truth of Star Trek's sex appeal is that Spock is just fucking sexy. And I'm a straight guy saying that, which should tell you something. Spock's quietly intense looks and gravel-scratched baritone voice, combined with his smoky dark eyes and hunter's patience, make him what in the parlance is known as "dangerous-sexy."

And Spock has the absolute most erotic moments of the entire series. Plato's Stepchildren, despite featuring Kirk's admittedly embarrassing impression of a show horse, and despite featuring the first interracial kiss on a network show, features Spock's lyre-based rendition of the song Bitter Dregs. In this he warns young ladies to value their, uh ... wine, against young men who will drink greedily and then leave nothing.

There is the moment in Amok Time when Nurse Chapel (who's got a groove-thang for the ship's resident Vulcan) cries, heartbroken over Spock's impending nuptials to the oh-my-GOD-she's hot T'Pring. And Spock tenderly wipes her tear with his finger and says in his dusky voice, "Your face is wet ..."

But the most erotic encounter in sci-fi history occurs in The Enterprise Incident, in which Spock cozies up to the sexy female commander of a Romulan ship while Kirk sneaks about in a bad disguise to steal a cloaking device. The commander woos Spock, offers him a command (and sex), and changes from her uniform into a form-fitting dress. She asks, "Is my attire now more approriate, Mr. Spock?" To which Spock answers, "Commander, your attire is not only more appropriate, it should actually stimulate our conversation." He follows this up by softly running his hand along hers.

Point the Third: Spock's detached calm sells his menace and his sex appeal. By being calm, quiet, and stoic, Spock is never out of control. And as the Romulan commander pants expectantly at his touch, Spock stares deep into her eyes, unfazed, and ready to roll.

The lesson we learn from this is that reserve makes for a great, intense character. At times when emotions run highest -- anger and sexual arousal -- Spock never loses his cool (Amok Time's freak-out aside, because that can be attributed to an ancient evolutionary biology that overrides all thinking). And by not losing his cool, the intensity of his actions becomes far more mysterious. And, therefore, dangerous. And sexy.

Write for the Jugular, folks. But stay in control.