Yes, Sometimes You Need Profanity
So lately, instead of working like I’m supposed to, I’ve spent a lot of times in the fiction and Goodreads forums. One thing I’ve noticed a lot of people complaining about it the use of profanity in novels.
Now, sometimes I get it. If the writer is just trying to be shocking, and just loading the page up with unnecessary swears, then it gets annoying and at the same time, takes you out of the story. However, the same can be said for lack of profanity.
This past weekend, one of my favorite movies of all time came on. The Last Boyscout.
What can I say? I’m a sucker for movies where Bruce Willis beats the shit out of everyone while dropping deadpan one-liners.
Unfortunately, this particularly awesome movie was played on a network channel. You know what that means. Tons of censorship. You know what sucks about censorship? Besides everything? It frequently ruins jokes.
For example, when bad ass Joe Hallenbeck wakes up after passing out in his car, he finds a dead squirrel laying on his chest. Following this, he has this exchange with his former partner.
Mike Matthews: What’d you do last night?
Joe Hallenbeck: I think I fucked a squirrel to death, and don’t remember.
That is the original quote as I know it. Unfortunately, this is what the network did to it.
Mike Matthews: What’d you do last night?
Joe Hallenbeck: I don’t remember.
The joke is completely gone! WTF!
They seriously ruined so many Hallenbeck classic moments, like
“You couldn’t nail a two dollar whore.”
“I forgot to tell you. “Bom” means “fuck you” in Polish”
“Eat shit you fucking redneck!” (Extra funny, because it was shrieked by a kid)
Sometimes, swearing is necessary. Why? Because it’s realistic! If you punch someone in the face, they’re not going to be like “oh, darn! You punched me in the face you jerk!” It’s far more likely to come out like this. “Ow, fuck! Fuck you motherfucker!”
So, to those out there who are profanity adverse, I completely understand. Now stop ruining my movies.
Also, I would like to announce an extra special milestone today. This is my ’100th f-bomb dropped post’.
