Egyptian River Denial Flows All the Way to Boston
For months Red Sox ownership and the Boston media have been trying to convince Red Sox Nation that this team is a.) in the hunt for the wild card and 2.) can contend in October. Granted even a broken clock is right twice a day however, I seem to be on a hot streak. First, I correctly predicted the Superfecta in the Belmont which paid 700 to 1. Second, I correctly predicted that Theo Epstein’s leadership would make General Custer look like a military genius. Fortunately, for the rest of the cavalry Custer didn’t survive. Unfortunately for Cubs’ fans Theo made it to Chicago. Remember when the Sox won in Theo’s first year. He was solely responsible. (This is why Red Sox ownership refused to give former GM Dan Duquette a ring.) However, now that the Cub’s are 44-68 in his first year, well you can’t blame Theo.
Under Theo the Red Sox primary focus was pitching. (In sports defense wins championships and in baseball the pitcher is the number one defender.) Their “ace” Josh Beckett is 5-9 with an ERA of 5. Ownership and its co-conspirators, The Boston Globe, want you to believe he is either hurt, having a bad year or the victim of bad luck. However, Beckett is 53-48 over the last five years. (If he is that unlucky let’s ask him who he likes in the Travers stakes, that way we can eliminate a couple ponies.) This cost the Sox $16 million this year and $32 million over the next two years. (To put this in perspective the Sox’ number 5 starter Tim Wakefield was 59-46 over his last five years). Beckett missed a start earlier in the year with a back injury that could not be medically verified, i.e. “back spasms”. The injury didn’t affect his golf swing, however. In defense of his golf playing he stated that he only had 18 days off a year. Based on the fact he makes 33 starts over a 162 game schedule by my math he actually has 129 days off. If you count the offseason Beckett basically has 279 days off a year.
Next up John Lackey at $15 million. Can’t lift a baseball but is ambidextrous when it comes to Bud Light cans. I suggest that the Red Sox add a substance abuse blood test to it’s team physical. Of course given the “injury” excuse the team doctors have not been quick to diagnose potential problems (Carl Crawford having cleared a physical, apparently injured his arm, shoulder and neck using too heavy a pen when signing the $100 million contract leaving him unable to play effectively, if at all). Remember Theo picking up Bobby Jenks for a cool $12 million? Then again the medical staff probably didn’t think a pill junkie could be 75 pounds overweight and suffering from chronic “back spasms”. Closer Andrew Bailey has been out with a thumb injury longer than it takes most people to recover from thumb transplant surgery. If your doctor is “the exclusive medical provider to the Boston Red Sox” get a second opinion, quick.
How about Jon Lester? Came back from cancer, lead the team to the 2007 World Series, prince of the city right? Wrong. Decided to join the Beckett/Lackey workout plan: carbs (Bud Light) and protein (fried chicken). He’s 6-10 with an ERA of 5 and 1/2. for $8 million. If he were a little league pitcher his coach would take him out for lack of effort and total indifference. As the good ship Red Sox continues to take on water expect him to begin missing starts with you guessed it “back spasms”.
The Red Sox have lost 24 games, nearly half of their total losses, in games in which either Beckett or Lester has started (and Lackey has watched with a loaded Playmate cooler). Not bad for 25% of the payroll. In defense of new GM Ben Cherington I will say he did recognize there was no need to spend $11 million on Jonathan Papelbon when Aceves can blow games for one tenth the price. Aceves loves to argue balls and strikes right before he gives up another game winning homer. Every time he questions a call the ump should ask him “you still first in blown saves?”
In addition to horrendous player personnel moves (JD Drew, Mike Cameron, Edgar Renteria, Eric Gagne, Julio Lugo, for starters) this ownership hasn’t been to public relations savvy off the field either. Fired the most popular Red Sox manager in history and then spread a rumor he had a drug problem. Bought a lot of goodwill there. Then John Henry’s former waitress turned wife sent the famous tweet about JH’s trip down the stairs (head first) and the Liverpool soccer club that coincided with the “greatest team ever’s” implosion in Baltimore. How about demeaning Kevin Youkilis so that he is traded when his value is at an all-time low? Of course pointing any or all of this out means that ownership doesn’t pocket the tens of millions in essentially non-refundable post season ticket deposits. (The deposits are applied towards next year’s season tickets or returned next April after John Henry earns six months of interest on the fans’ dough).
Wildcard? October? From the owner, to the front office to the medical staff to the closer this team is a bunch of losers. After eighty-six years you get to know one when you see one.
KOKO
