Why I’ll Never Read in Middleborough
I used to fear public speaking and cared so much about other’s opinions that I learned to hate my own voice and doubted that I had anything worthwhile to say. Thankfully, I’m past that and now I’m just itching for the chance to get in front of people and read from my fiction. Yesterday, I was given that opportunity at Porcfest in Lancaster, NH, and I had a blast reading from Brightside, my thriller where telepaths are rounded up by the government and imprisoned in a beautiful mountain town.
I hesitated when I saw the set-up though because the reading took place in an open tent where guests would come and go throughout the day, many choosing to order and eat lunch in the back. This meant that children could be around as well as people who might be offended by the language and subject matter. Although every word in Brightside has been carefully contemplated with my editor, wife, and dedicated readers, I still wasn’t so sure about dropping the f-bomb in front of unsuspecting guests.
In my Porcfest welcome packet there was a letter that added to my hesitation. It reminded everyone that this was a family environment and it let people know which events might include mature subject matter and language. All of these events were scheduled to take place after 8pm, mine was set for 2pm. Not wanting to be the bad guy who ruined someone’s vacation, I spoke with an organizer and asked his opinion. He figured that as long as I give a little warning at the start of the reading everything would be all good. While reading I kept an eye out for kids in the back and cut out a few words that didn’t absolutely need to be there. I don’t think it affected the performance much, but it definitely had me thinking about something I shouldn’t have.
When I got back to my room, I read this article on Public Swearing in Middleborough, MA, where they feel they have the power to fine individuals $20 for cursing in their town. I did the math. By a pretty conservative estimate, my forty minute reading of two chapters from Brightside would have cost me at least $620. But that’s only going by words that these 183 people out of a town of 20,000 residents would definitely find “obscene or profane.” If this includes innuendo, I’d really be screwed. It sounds like they’ve got some panties bunched all the way up over there and I’m guessing they’d gladly tag on an extra twenty bucks for anything just the least bit offensive. Is “slamming his secretary” offensive, how about two consenting but unmarried adults having sex?
And I love how it’s not a big deal to them at all. This law won’t be abused, the police will use their power judiciously and only fine people when they find it appropriate. Give me a fucking break.
Even if half of this town had voted for this cursing ban, it is still disgusting. It’s unconstitutional. We have the freedom to say whatever the hell we want. I’m respectful of others and do my best not to swear around children or people I don’t know. In my writing, I don’t use language gratuitously, but instead try to capture life as I see it. My protagonist has spent his whole life hearing the thoughts of those around him. He’s heard every dirty thought that these self-righteous people do their best to repress. He’s been ripped out of his house by the government with no due process and he’s pretty pissed off. Sorry, but dang and darn simply won’t cut it. Here’s a preview of Chapter One. You be the judge. Just don’t read it out loud if you’re in Middleborough, a place I’ll never go.
