In Which I Admit To Being Like Every Other Blogger

IT is a truth universally acknowledged, that a blogger seeking to improve visitor statistics must be in want of a hot topic on the Web. However tedious Google Analytics may seem to such a person, he is widely and cynically believed to be mining search engines in search of crowd-pleasing nuggets of infotainment.

Alas. It is totally frikkin' true.

So: Minka Kelly. Minka Kelly! MINKA KELLY! Come to me, oh webcrawlers and searchbots! Heed my summoning words! MIIIINNNKAAAA....KKEELLLLLYYYY....
Oh, all right. There's got to be some way I can connect Minka to some nerdliness to make this legit. 
Well, there is a longstanding tradition of nerds panting after gorgeous women in the media. Absolutely. Fan service! 
You're welcome.