Hang in there dad

Inspiration for every dad on the planet.

Winter delivered me an almighty bout of illness and I felt very ordinary, hence no blog for 3 weeks. Apologies.

Usually I prattle on about the joys of father hood and occasionally I acknowledge the challenges that go with the territory.

My sons are now 23, almost 21 and 19. They are all living at home with my wife and I in our small weatherboard, cottage-like home. At times it feels quite crowded, especially in the kitchen when everyone is clambering for food.

There have been times when our boys have pushed us through the proverbial ringer. We have despised and begrudged certain attitudes, behaviours and choices they have made. At times I have asked the question, where did we go wrong?

Whilst I, like most other men, have fallen short in some aspects of fathering, I have been conscientious to try to do the role justice ie; be the dad I wish I’d had.

Nonetheless I have been confronted with the fact that there are no formulas or guarantees that our children will always choose the most practical, logical and sensible options in life. If they just did everything the way we wish they would life would be less stressful. Wouldn’t it?

Perhaps we would have less stress but we are not here to simply clone ourselves are we? Raising children teaches us much about life and much about ourselves and it is not always pretty.

To grow children into  adults takes a lot of years. And at times, painful years. It will squeeze us of our patience and potentially  strain our values and our beliefs. There are times that we will be confronted with our own weaknesses and even some of our less than savoury attitudes.

I see some families where the children seem like angels and they all come through the teen years as though life is like a gentle lake with a soft breeze blowing. Give me some of that lake.

Our boys have matured a lot and certain attitudes and behaviours are passing. I laugh with my sons a lot more now and am less stressed out by them. I enjoy having them around. I smile when they sit around the table with us and play card games, chess or sit down and watch one of our daggy shows on TV with us.

I think we have survived the worst of it. And to be completely honest I wouldn’t want to go through  those years again. Raising young children, awesome! Taking children through adolescence to adulthood, is not something I would want to go through again. Alas it has to be done. It is part of the journey every parent must travel.

There are no short cuts except perhaps except sending them to boarding school, military school or Siberia. None of which were options for us.

I love being a dad and I am hoping that the really tough years will bring much fruit and many years of delightful adult to adult relationship with my kids and their families, if and when they come along. I will smile with sinister delight when they are going through the teenage years with their kids. Sweet revenge.

Whatever stage of the fatherhood journey you are at, enjoy the good times and hang in their in the tough times. Your not alone. And life is a long time. Major on the major things and minor things. Keep your cool. Confront boldly, but with sincere love. Remember you were a teenager once to. And remember one day they will be through this patch. Nurture the relationship while they are young so you have something to draw on when the road gets a little rocky.

 

Ultimately, believe in your kids and hang on to the hope that they will turn out alright in the end.