There are a lot of goals in life I have not met yet, but the one I’m talking about now is my writing goal.
I wanted to have the first draft of Silent Raven done by the end of this month. That goal will not be met. This mostly stems from a depression I’ve been in the past several weeks. One week I didn’t even write anything. The depression made me question my self-worth, even as a writer. At one point, I debated on breaking all my fingers so I wouldn’t even attempt to write. There is one friend I have reading the story as I go along. I asked him to be very honest with me, put aside our friendship and answer me truthfully if he felt the book is good enough or not. I trust him to be honest with me and believe him when he said it was. I basically begged for an answer as to whether or not I should continue writing. Depression is nobody’s friend.
After that week, though, I did start to write again. The depression lifted a little bit and I wrote a little bit. Day by day the words came, but not many. It was a struggle to even get 100 words written on a couple of days. My depression has lifted more (for the most part) and I’ve been writing more. So far today I’ve written over 2,000 words. And I’m not done yet.
However, this means I’ll have to move back my goal. Not get rid of it, just move it. My new goal is now the end of next month. I’m over halfway done with the novel, currently standing at 52,577 words. When finished, the book will be between 80,000-90,000 words. I hope. It may run a little longer than 90,000 words, but that’s where editing will come in. If I go over 90,000 words, I won’t freak, though, so long as it’s not too much over. There’s still a lot of story to tell. One part of me is worried I don’t have enough material to cover 80-90k words. The other part of me is scared I have too much left to tell. Either way, I’m just going to write and finish the first draft and worry about word length after. Again, that’s what editing is for.
I started working on Silent Raven again on May 14th of this year. I don’t know what possessed me to think I could write and entire full-length decent first draft in a month-and-a-half. I still don’t know what possesses me to think I can write a decent first draft in two-and-a-half months. I’m going to try, though. If I don’t reach my goal of finishing it by the end of next month, oh well. It helps I have the rest of the book generally outlined. However, there are new surprises coming up in the story all the time. These surprises shock me when they occur and enhance the story, so straying from the outline doesn’t bother me.
The main thing is I finish the first draft. Whether it be next month or the month after, it doesn’t matter. I’ll still set goals, but sometimes a goal needs to be redefined. Life (and depression) sometimes gets in the way, but this doesn’t mean our goals should suffer more than they have to. Just set new goals and continue on.
Didn’t Make It
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