My Favorite Lines
I think every writer has a favorite line he or she has written. Some paint a picture, while others describe a feeling or character. I’ve been rereading my book, Betrayed, because my WIP (work in progress), The Disappeared, takes place on or around the Navajo Nation Reservation, just as my earlier book, Betrayed, did. I need to match what I wrote with what I’m writing.
There are some authors I enjoy. More than that, I envy their ability to use sparse wording to convey what needs to be said. Three writers come to mind immediately: Joan Livingston in her Isabel Long Mysteries; Cam Torrens in his Tyler Zahn Books; and Brian Kaufman in anything he writes, but in particular, his historical fiction work, A Persistent Echo. If you’ve not read these three authors, please do yourself a favor and check them out. They write wonderfully.
Stephen King wrote in his fabulous book, On Writing, about the author seeking to make the tuning fork zing perfectly. Livingston, Torrens, Kaufman, and many others do this time and time again. Every now and then, I hit it just right.
I don’t have their ability to use bare-bones writing to convey what I want to say. That being said, I’m happy with my progress and pleased with what I’ve written. I’m always looking to improve, and I believe the more one writes, the better he/she becomes.
Betrayed is one of my favorite stories. It started out to be about George Tokay, a fifteen-year-old Navajo boy, and it is his tale. But the book is told through Brian’s eyes. Brian Evans is also fifteen, but Caucasian. I chose Brian’s viewpoint because, like many of you, he has little if any experience with the Navajo culture, land, or spirituality, other than what George has shared with him. Brian experiences it for the first time, like many of you reading this book. In that way, the “telling” through Brian’s eyes is fresh and innocent.
This first snippet I’m sharing is about three boys, George, Brian, and their brother, Brett, who is also fifteen. If you know my books, you know that the three of them were adopted into a patchwork family of six, soon to be seven, brothers. They are traveling through the Navajo Nation Reservation on a road that will take them to a large trading post, and eventually to George’s former homestead, or what is left of it. Brian and Brett are observing what they see.
Chapter Twelve, Page 35
West of Shiprock, they traveled through Becklabito, a little blip on the map that had a rundown diner and a gas station. The houses, if one could call them that, were nothing more than a patchwork of corrugated tin and wood, and did not look to be any bigger than one or two rooms.
Little kids, barebacked and shoeless, some wearing sandals, played in the dirt of their front yards along with a smattering of chickens and a rooster or two. The kids were skinny. Most wore their black hair long like George. A few were in braids. Adults sat on the porch in ancient wooden rockers or what looked like kitchen chairs. Most smoked, drank, or spit brown tobacco juice into cups, buckets, or over the railing into the dirt.
There were rusted cars and trucks on cinder blocks. Most had broken or cracked windows and had weeds or some sort of plant overtaking them. There were a few dogs and cats with their rib cages showing.
Brett licked his lips, glanced at George, but dared not stare too long because he recognized that at one time, George might have been only one or two rungs higher on the economic ladder.
—
I like the picture that is painted. As I wrote, it is fresh and innocent, though sad. Brian and Brett don’t know what to make of it, and they refrain from making comments to George about their observations because they don’t want to hurt his feelings.
The next snippet involves Detective Pat O’Connor, working solo as he often does, and a new recurring character, Michael Two Feathers, a Navajo boy of thirteen. The two are talking while sitting on a blanket off a single dirt road leading from another tiny dot on the Arizona map. Michael is fiercely independent, but young and frightened. O’Connor tries to reassure him. But O’Connor has a reason to, and it involves Brian and Brett, who are off on their own, away from George. He has a large ask of Michael, and O’Connor is hesitant to do so. After finding out about Michael’s life, this part of the following conversation ensues:
Chapter Fifteen, Page 51
O’Connor slipped an arm around the boy, gave his shoulder a squeeze, and said, “You don’t always measure hurt with bruises, broken bones, or blood. Sometimes there is hurt you don’t see. And sometimes, it’s the hurt you don’t see that you end up feeling the most.”
—
O’Connor comes by that wisdom because he lived it, and he watched it become truth in the lives of George, Brian, and Brett. He is more than a cop, and his detective work involves not only putting bad guys away, but fiercely protecting those he loves, and those he considers his friends and loved ones. He’s single, never married, but in many respects, O’Connor sees George, Brian and Brett as his kids as much as their parents do.
The previous snippet gives you, the reader, insight into who Detective Pat O’Connor is. He is more than just a detective. This next snippet gives you an even greater insight into the type of man he is. It is part of the same conversation as the previous one, but further along as he gets to know Michael:
Chapter Fifteen, Pages 52 and 53
It occurred like this. Something would happen. A glimpse, a moment, a word, a look. Nothing extraordinary. To an ordinary soul, a moment like this would be overlooked and soon forgotten. Perhaps never even noticed in the first place.
O’Connor was not ordinary, and that was how he had survived undercover. Facing all manner of threats, his life could be taken in less than a tick of a moment. He lied to save his life, and at times, he lied to save the lives of others. A lie in order to find the truth or to right a wrong.
The moral dilemma facing O’Connor was not that he would be facing danger necessarily. The real dilemma was that this boy might. A boy he had just met, and who at the young age of thirteen, did not have a place to sleep or a steady meal or someone to care for him. O’Connor never liked putting anyone in danger, but he never liked putting kids in harm’s way.
O’Connor stared at the handsome, bronze-skinned boy with dark eyes that matched his long hair. Skinny, but Pat had the impression that the kid was deceptively strong. Perhaps stronger where it counted the most. There was nothing much to call his own except for a rifle he clutched tightly.
He had two horses, though O’Connor was not sure if they were his or if they belonged to Feldcamp. One, the big dappled gray, had a beat-up saddle on it. The other had a tarp strapped to its back along with sacks containing all of his earthly wealth. Whatever else he had was at the bar, the one to which he could no longer return.
It was his reservation, and even though he spent more time in the desert than he did under a roof, he was, after all, still a boy.
O’Connor had a decision to make, and with that decision, a promise he would have to make to himself and to the boy.
—
This snippet describes O’Connor, but it also gives you a picture of Michael, what he faces each day, and is a portent of what he might face in the near future. It paints a picture of Michael’s delicate life, what he has, but perhaps just as importantly, what he doesn’t have. O’Connor is going to make it right for him, but not without some peril. That’s O’Connor’s dilemma.
I think most authors, if not every author, injects themselves into their writing. In many respects, I am a bit like O’Connor. My years as a teacher and coach, but more importantly, as a counselor, helped me to stay tuned to my gut, my hunches. I see the same tendency in my two daughters, though I’m not sure they see it yet.
There were times sitting across from a kid or parent when a silent alarm would go off, and I’d respond to it intuitively. I did the same as a coach. The game might turn on any decision I made, and certainly turned on a decision my players made. A mantra I implanted in my players was: Basketball is a game of mistakes. The team that makes the fewest, wins.
That’s probably true in any sport and well beyond athletic competition. Probably in life as a whole. We make life what it is through our successes, but more often than not, through our mistakes. We grow and learn more from our mistakes than we do from our successes, I think.
But I digress …
Writers write what they know (or what they have researched thoroughly). Those who know me can see Joe Lewis in my characters, some in greater part than in others. I think all writers can say the same thing.
I mentioned two of my favorite authors, Joan Livingston and Cam Torrens. Joan was a former newspaper reporter who became editor-in-chief. Her prose shows this, and some of her stories involve that aspect of her life. As a former reporter, that dogged determination to find the story propels her character, Isabel Long, as Long seeks answers to mysteries presented to her. Her stories take place in the hill country of western Massachusetts, where she currently lives. Cam lives in Colorado and is a search and rescue team member and a former pilot. That background gives his character, Tyler Zahn, depth and realism as Zahn “stumbles” into one mystery or another in his home stomping grounds, you guessed it, Colorado.
The characters writers create have bits and pieces of the author within them. We can’t help it.
I will continue to work on The Disappeared as I read through my previous work, Betrayed. I want to get the story correct, and I have to get myself into the “head and heart” and into the “culture and country” of the Navajo. And as I do, I hope to keep the tuning fork humming and come up with the word pictures to do so.
If you are interested, Betrayed was an Amazon Best Seller in two different categories, and it has won a good share of awards.
Betrayed was a Readers’ Favorite Honorable Mention – Mystery; #1 Best Seller (Amazon) in Traditional Detective Mysteries; Barnes and Noble Bestseller; 2021 Maxy Award Runner-Up – Mystery/Suspense; 2021 PenCraft Book Awards 1st Place – Thriller; Top 50 Indie Books – Readers’ Choice Award Winner; Author’s Shout Recommended Read; and a Literary Titan Silver Award Winner.
If you are interested in checking it out, here is the link: https://amzn.to/2EKHudx Betrayed is available on Kindle, in Paperback, and on Audible.
Of course, you can find all my books, their covers, descriptions and purchase links on my website: www.jrlewisauthor.com
I would like to know your thoughts, so please use the comment section below. As always, thank you for following along on my writing journey. Until next time …
Photo courtesy of Kaitlyn Baker and Unsplash
Betrayed book cover by David King and Black Rose Writing
