How do you Live in Hope in a Broken World?

Introducing children to God’s Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love is a gift my dear friend  Sally Lloyd-Jones has given to countless families around the world. She carries this rare ability to distill the deepest theological truths into stories that sing with joy and tenderness—reaching children (and, let’s be honest, adults too) right where their hearts most need it. Our own kids have grown up with The Jesus Storybook Bible (with over 6 million copies sold!), and now Sally has done it again. In her brand-new book, Jesus, Our True Friend, she offers seven unforgettable stories from the life of Jesus. It’s a true joy and honor to welcome Sally back to the farm’s front porch today…

Guest Post by Sally Lloyd-Jones

Children look to us for everything. 

But in all that we’ve given children, I sometimes wonder—have we forgotten to give them hope? 

How do we give hope to children? It’s only when we take the burden off the child and put it back on God where it belongs.

Children do not need to be told to try harder, believe more, do it better. They don’t need to be told do everything right, to make themselves perfect. That just leaves them in despair.

The moral code always leaves us in despair. We can never live up to it. 

A moral code cannot save us.

No. We don’t need a moral code. 

We need a Rescuer.

He left his Father and his throne and came to live with us. And showed us what love was really like.

Jago’s and my new book is called Jesus, Our True Friend. I wrote it to be a book of hope for children (and their grown-ups). 

The first book Jago and I made together was The Jesus Storybook Bible (incredibly now with 6 million in print and in over 80 languages). In all our books together, we are guided by one goal: to let children know that they are deeply loved. To let them know that they don’t have to be good for God to love them—because He loved them before they were even born. To let them know that he loves them with a Wonderful, Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.

That same goal is at the heart of our new book Jesus, Our True Friend. In it are 7 stories that come from the time when Jesus was on earth. They are stories Jago and I haven’t told before. They start with a party—and end with breakfast! We hope they fill your hearts with Joy. 

One of the stories in the new book resonated with me in a powerful way. The story of the two sisters Jesus loved: Mary and Martha from Luke 10. 

One day, Jesus comes to their house and Martha immediately gets to work preparing a wonderful welcome and fabulous feast. While her sister Mary sits at Jesus’ feet to listen to him teach.

Well things don’t go well for Martha in the kitchen. She gets more and more stressed out and hotter and hotter and terribly annoyed.

(Since Jesus, Our True Friend is a picture book—we are lucky and get to tell the story in two languages—word and image. And one fun inside scoop to share: the whole story could be told by simply looking at Martha’s hair. If you notice, Jago has shown her hair getting more and more wild and out of control in each illustration as the story progresses.) 

Poor Martha. She was doing everything right.

She was working so hard to bless everyone. Preparing such a beautiful feast. Making her home so warm and welcoming. Making it all perfect for Jesus. So selflessly giving and giving.

And then who is the one praised? Her sister Mary. And what exactly is Mary doing? 

Just sitting there, listening to Jesus.

How unfair. 

But then I started wondering—if Mary was listening to Jesus, who was Martha listening to, off in the kitchen?

Was it her thoughts? Tyrannizing her. Was it the voice of perfectionism? Bullying and bombarding her with the requirements to make everything perfect for Jesus. 

I wonder if Martha was a perfectionist.

Here is one definition: 

“Perfectionists strain compulsively and unceasingly toward unattainable goals. They measure their self-worth by productivity and accomplishments …”

Here’s Ann Lamott’s definition of perfectionism: “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life…”

Perhaps you recognize that voice?

“Martha’s perfectionism sapped her energy, totally exhausted her—and left no room for relationship. And wonder. And Jesus. Her busyness in the kitchen quite literally separated her, kept her from sitting at Jesus’ feet and listening to him.”

As a writer, I certainly do.

When I was checking the proofs of The Jesus Storybook Bible, and realizing this was the final chance to make sure everything was right, I said to a friend, in horror, “What if it’s not perfect?”

The friend very wisely replied by asking me a different question, “The question isn’t—Is it perfect? The question is — Is it excellent?” It helped me let go of the impossible standard. And move forward. 

Of course, there is nothing wrong with working hard or pushing yourself to achieve a goal. But the way to know it’s perfectionism—at least for me—is to ask: Is this coming from a place of anxiety and fear? Or joy? Does this make me want to only proceed with extreme caution? Or to play? 

Ironically, all the creativity, joy, wonder and inspiration vanish when my only option is perfection. 

But sometimes we wear perfectionism like a badge of honor. Our perfect house. Our perfect marriage. Our perfect children. Our perfect book. Our perfect lives. Our perfect—fill in the blank. 

Martha’s perfectionism sapped her energy, totally exhausted her—and left no room for relationship. And wonder. And Jesus. Her busyness in the kitchen quite literally separated her, kept her from sitting at Jesus’ feet and listening to him.

Poor Martha was starting to have a bad day. She was frantically busy. And much, much too hot. And in the kitchen all the time. And Mary was just sitting there. Not helping her.

Why wasn’t she helping her? 

Martha could feel she was beginning to get very angry. Her anger was simmering, bubbling up, boiling over, until—she couldn’t help it—she stormed into the room, interrupting Jesus. 

“Jesus! Don’t you care that that sister of mine has left me to do all the work? Tell her to help me!” 

There was a horrified silence.

Martha had just scolded Jesus. And told him what to do. And said he didn’t care.

And what does Jesus do? Scold her? Lecture her? Punish her?

No.

He loves her.

But with great tenderness and gentleness, Jesus said, “Martha, dear Martha.” And he looked at her with such kindness that her eyes filled with sudden tears. 

There was an ocean of love in his heart for her. “Martha, you’re doing all these wonderful things for me.” He looked at the magnificent feast Martha had prepared. “But the things on your list—they’re making you anxious and unhappy. You’re like a capsized boat being tossed along and swept away by all your worries. They’re pulling you away from me. Don’t let them keep you from me. Don’t let anything keep you from me.”

Martha gulped. She’d been trying to do it all—but she’d missed the most important thing of all.

Perfectionism, in the end, can be our way of trying to save ourselves. Of being good enough. Which is the definition of moralism.

“What if we put down our badges of perfection and grabbed onto Hope instead? What if we sat at Jesus’ feet and simply let ourselves be loved?“

The Law is the impossible standard we can never live up to. A belief that the only way we can be accepted is if we do it right.

A belief that I will be loved IF.

But Jesus comes and shows Martha a different way:

Jesus beckoned for Martha to come and sit close to him.

“What you’re carrying is too heavy for you,” he said. “Why don’t you give me all your worries and troubles.”

Jesus loved Martha.

She didn’t need to do anything for Jesus to love her. She didn’t need to make everything perfect. She didn’t need to pass any kind of test at all. Because Jesus had come to free God’s children from all of that. Forever.

What if we put down our badges of perfection and grabbed onto Hope instead? What if we sat at Jesus’ feet and simply let ourselves be loved?

“May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

Sally Lloyd-Jones is a New York Times bestselling writer of over 40 books for children. Her work has been critically acclaimed by the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal and includes: The Jesus Storybook Bible, an ALA Notable and Platinum Book Award winner, which has been translated into 70 languages and has sold six million copies, How To Be A Baby By Me The Big Sister, a New York Times Notable Book, and the Christopher Medal winner Baby Wren and the Great Gift. Her latest book, Jesus, Our True Friend, is a brand new collection of 7 stories to fill your heart with Joy. Sally was born Uganda, raised in East and West Africa and at a boarding school in the New Forest, England, studied at the Sorbonne, and now lives in New York City. She can be found at sallylloyd-jones.com and on Instagram @sallylloydjones. 

{Our humble thanks to Zonderkidz for their partnership in today’s devotional.}