Lost

As I near my milestone birthday, I remember all of those I've lost over the past 9 years. Memories of my 30th birthday flow through the stresses of the day that life left behind in my thoughts, and I smile. My mother, always looking for a way to make the family celebrations joyous, decided we should share this event at the lake. My late niece, who was also my first niece, shared the same birthday, which gave grandma more ideas. This particular birthday, my sweet, and much missed mother, iced two water balloons for our dual cake cutting. Shaped cakes were just coming into style, so we were not the wiser. I just thought it was odd that our cakes were shaped like balloons. I wondered where she found the pan.

As my darling niece and I cut into our birthday cakes, they exploded on us, water and icing running over our swimsuits, the table, and the bench. We laughed at each other as everyone sang the birthday song. Four of the women at that special day are gone now, my niece, sister, mom and grandma. There will never be a birthday such as that one, again! I don't recall the gifts I received, nor the gifts I gave my niece, but I will never forget those balloons and the joy it brought to a family who would, ten years later, begin to suffer so much.

Life deals blows, and we go on. We do what we must to keep going, no matter how many times we think about stopping. We cope, we live, we love, we laugh a little, and we write. These are the events that make us who we are and give us the emotions we need in order to create our work, whether it's illustrations or words. If I were to stop now, not only would I disappoint myself, but I would also disappoint the four who left me behind.