Monday Notes: Shows About Women in Midlife Through the Lens of And Just Like That

And just like that, I’m a woman in midlife complaining about how media portray women who are in midlife. Part of this was prompted by watching three mind-numbing seasons of And Just Like That (AJLT). I do not recommend it. Another part of this essay is due to having a couple of conversations with LA over at Waking Up on the Wrong Side of 50. In one of her blogs, she specifically asked what we would want to see in a show or book that centered women in midlife. So, here goes:

DIVERSITY

I loathe tokenism in a series. On AJLT, Nicole Ari Parker’s character, Lisa, was unequivocally a token. Yes, she had a subplot, but was it developed? I knew more about Aidan’s son’s mental health and secret prescription drug use than I did about Lisa. Another characteristic is she rarely had scenes where she was doing friend things with one other character, which when you’re in a group of friends in real life, is normal. Friends typically pair off or gather in smaller groups to have solo friend time, like many of the other characters did. Also, I have a good friend who is white. I’ve written about her before. We do things like talk on the phone, Zoom, and visit each other’s houses. I would venture to say that other people have diverse friendships, where they, too, interact in friend-like ways. So, if I had a TV show, I’d create scenarios where women who are different races/ethnicities function in authentic ways.

MENOPAUSE

As long as the media continues to treat perimenopause, menopause, and post-menopause as if it’s a one-off situation, women and men are going to think it’s a one-off situation. It is not. It’s literally a life transition. Initially, I thought AJLT was going to be groundbreaking and delve into all things menopause via Kristin Davis’s character, Charlotte. I was excited when she had a flash period in Season 1. This is it, I thought. Charlotte’s going to keep having menopausal situations or maybe she’ll go to her gynecologist, who will blow her off and tell her she’s fine. Perhaps, she’ll spend two years, or at the least, the next two seasons trying to figure out if she’s perimenopausal, menopausal, or post-menopausal. Menopause is a worthy side story for a series where women in their 50s are central characters. Instead, she had less than five minutes of one episode to be embarrassed and move on with life. On my series, we’d watch one character do as many women have: try teas, tinctures, and meditation, and perhaps, settle on a nice cocktail of hormones.

SEX

LA shared this Vogue article, which does a pretty good job of explaining where AJLT could’ve done better. One topic is sex. Most women in this phase of life have had some shifts in the sheets, no matter if they’re in a committed relationship like Charlotte and Lisa or bed hopping like Sophia was on the Golden Girls. Warning: this is about to get explicit, so if you keep reading, that’s on you. Still here? Great. Many midlife women need lube and some form of hormone if they are going to be having sex as freely as the media would like you to believe. There’s a show called The Hunting Wives that I’m way too into, and Margo (Malin Akerman) has so much mind-blowing sexy, McSexy sex that you’d think she was dropping two eggs per month. I’m not sure how old any of the women on this show are supposed to be, but some have teenage children, and a couple of husbands have gray hair, so I’m guessing 40 or so. And if that’s the case, I’m not buying this portrayal of Margo’s sex life. If I was directing a show, we’d do a close-up of the KY on the nightstand and include an offhand comment about testosterone cream.

GRAY HAIR

Finally, it’s disappointing that even in 2025, only male characters get to be good looking while aging. I thought we would have evolved by now, but I guess not. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a series where at least one woman wore her hair the way it grew out of her head? Wouldn’t that be inspiring? Think of all the younger women who may watch and think, well, I guess it is possible to age, just be, and love myself, simultaneously! I thought AJLT was going to be that show. Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) started off with gray hair, but by the end of Season 1, she’d decided it was too hard. Well, damn. Anecdotally speaking, she represents many women I know. They just can’t take commit to aging naturally. I’m not on a high horse. It is hard. But I keep thinking if media showed more women with varied gray-hairstyles, then maybe, the visual would be normalized, and maybe it would motivate other women to ditch their Clairol.

Welp. I wanted to also add that we should end the mean-girl trope by the time women are in midlife and that more women need to visibly wear readers, while viewing the brunch menu, but I’ve said enough. I can’t believe we’re still discussing something like this in the 21st century. You’d think by now the media would stop portraying stereotyped and unrealistic versions of midlife women. But here we are.

Monday Notes: Shows About Women in Midlife Through the Lens of And Just Like ThatInspiring Image #164: ParadoxInspiring Image #163: Commodity (Saint Lucia)Sunday Shorts: The Beach LecturerInspiring Image #162: Learning (Saint Lucia)