Funerals

Today I make an effort to do something for someone else, and it is a task I never enjoy. One of our coworkers lost her husband to leukemia last week. I don't mind making food for the after funeral crowd, but I have never, and never will be, a fan of funerals. My empathetic nature is always overwhelmed by the sadness of funerals. I always feel so helpless.

Since 2003, when the tragedies in our family began, I have become more of a celebrator or life. I much prefer the 'wake-like' ceremony of our family. In 2003, I lost my eldest niece, at the age of 20, to diabetes, and eleven months later her mother, my sister, to cancer. Three years later, the matriarch of my family, my grandmother, passed. All three funerals were the most difficult of my life. And though all three preferred no funeral, we still celebrated their lives before the funerals, just as they wanted. When my mother passed last year, she got what she wished for, a celebration of life.

Much to the surprise of funeral goers, there is closure in the celebration of life, and to me, it builds the feeling that our loved ones will always be with us.

I come from a long line of very strong women. We don't cry in public. We cry at home.

As a member of the community, both where I live and work, I would do whatever I could to help another being. So, regardless of how I feel about funerals, I must step forward and help in any way I can.

That is who I am.