5. This project is ruining MIDDLEMARCH for me.

I have this semi-recurring nightmare where I get a butt-cheek tattoo. I never see the full tattoo, only lines of ink from the corner of my eye, but the assumption is it’s a leprechaun or kissy lips. Then a crack of sobriety rains over my consciousness, and I return to reality with an unwanted, permanent tattoo. In the dream, I scrub my bum until it’s red, and I wake up as dream-me signs away my meager savings at a laser removal clinic.

When I’m reading Middlemarch about a teenager who enthusiast...