Cracker Jokes – 2024

Some cracker jokes on an archaeological theme for your delectation:

What do you get in a 5 star pyramid?
A tomb with a view

How do you ring an Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-an’-come-in

What do you call a very, very, very, very, very old joke?
Pre-hysterical

Who invented pens?
The Incas

Why was the pottery specialist upset?
She got fired

Why are archaeologists greedy?
Because we’ll have archaic, and eat it too

Why is it always good to marry an archaeologist?
Because the older you get the more interested they will be in you

How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?
You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish – from the Westcar papyrus dating to 1,600 BC)

What did the king say when the court barber asked how he wanted his hair cut?
‘In silence.’ – from Philogelos, the oldest known joke book, dating to the 4th or 5th century AD

What did the woman who was blind in one eye say to her husband of 20 years when he found another woman and said to her, ‘I shall divorce you because you are said to be blind in one eye.’?
‘Have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage?’ – Egyptian, circa 1100BC