Tell me to keep going.

I feel unseen and unheard. I’m cold and I’m tired. And I have a headache.

The cold is easy to explain but not easy to remedy. My furnace started acting odd last winter, and I invested more than $600 into a possible fix that was nothing more than a guess and a bandaid– and it worked for last winter.

My heat is on 58-degrees right now, because I keep my heat low to save money and it doesn’t go up to 62 degrees until I’m consistently cold. And it only goes higher than 62 on special occasions.If you balk at those numbers, then you’ve never been poor.

Today the furnace refuses to work in any capacity. I called my heating people and they said they could come tomorrow, but I have special plans tomorrow (reading– the wine and book pairing at Cellar Beast Winehouse in Andreas, Pa. Buy tickets here) and I don’t want the stress of knowing if I’ll be without heat this winter. Because the furnace might really be dead. I’m hoping maybe it’s the thermostat, but that might be delusional thinking on my part.

[Help Angel heat her house this winter! Buy Parisian Phoenix books! 30 to choose from! Here’s our affiliate store on Bookshop.org— https://bookshop.org/shop/ParisianPhoenix— where you can support me, my authors and your favorite independent bookstore all at the same time without leaving your house, which I hope is warm!]

They are coming Tuesday afternoon, at my request.

If you follow this blog, you may already know that I signed up and paid for the Thrive Medical Fitness program at St. Luke’s Hospital.

Past blogs regarding this:

How I learned about the program

Medical Fitness Intake, part 1

Medical Fitness Intake, part 2

So, when I got home last night, I tracked my blood pressure for the hour after I returned and watched it come down to normal. Then, I ate Wing Stop. I had previously eaten about 850 calories that day with about 50 grams of protein and yeah, when Eva said she was starving and wanted Wing Stop I ordered it. I got a chicken sandwich, 5 boneless wings and an order of the fried corn with parmesan instead of the seasoning. I hoped I wouldn’t eat it all, but I did, which brought my protein totals for the day to around 125 grams and my calories to probably slightly more than 2,550.

My weight this morning did not change. My heart rate also appeared normal. My blood pressure before my beta blocker dose was 116/84. I skipped my morning coffee, drank a glass of electrolyte water and even wore my AppleWatch in the shower to see how my heart rate responded to the hot water.

At the doctor’s office, my weight had not changed. My heart rate was 77! That’s so ridiculously good for me as usually when I walk in the door it skyrockets. My blood pressure was 150/96. And they still have my height listed as 5′ 3″ which makes me obese. I’m 5′ 4″!

I saw a doctor that was not my own, and while he seemed like a very nice person, he didn’t see or hear me. He spent five minutes with me and prescribed a new medication. My history shows I have an issue with anxiety and my blood pressure, and I’m not saying I don’t have an issue, but no one seems to care that my blood pressure only escalates when I am outside of my house!

And I mentioned I struggle with orthostatic hypotension so I’m really concerned about changing my medications.

I am waiting for the pharmacy to fill the meds, and I made the follow-up nurse visit, but I also made an appointment with my cardiologist. But it’s hard to take care of yourself when you don’t have the same financial resources or the same “normal” body as everyone else.

I decided to cheer myself up and do something positive I made a coffee bar at the end of my desk.