It’s The Way I Tell ‘Em (36)

More of the best one liners (allegedly) from the Edinburgh Fringe 2024:

I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it. – Mark Simmons

I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward… two steps back. – Alec Snook

Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful. – Alex Kitson

I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it. – Arthur Smith

I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.- Mark Simmons

My dad used to say to me “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes – Olaf Falafel

British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons? – Chelsea Birkby

I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I’ve cracked it. – Masai Graham