Why Belonging Matters

If you have a child who falls outside of the typical teenage social interactions, perhaps you know what I mean when I say that our daughter Penny is never rejected but also rarely is in the loop.

But when I walked into the classroom where Penny, who has Down syndrome, was sharing her senior project presentation, it felt different. Penny often does not seem to belong within the social world of teenagers. But this school, with its classrooms and teachers and support system and community, is a place of belonging for her. It was amazing to see.

Senior project is a year-long class in which each senior picks a topic to study and works towards that goal all year long. Penny chose event planning. Last week, it was her turn to present a 30-minute narrated slideshow describing her experience.

She did a wonderful job. She spoke with poise and confidence and humor and humility. But what struck me most was that the room was full of people. Sure, some of them were kids from her school who didn’t want to go to class. But the majority were there because they wanted to support Penny.

There were the other students from her cohort of kids with intellectual disabilities, and a few of her typical peers. There were the teachers from middle school, and the girl who has danced with Penny for years. Our pastor attended, per Penny’s invitation, as well as a family friend. There was even a sixth grade boy there—he knows Penny from when his mom used to babysit for us. The highlight for Penny came from the three older girls—now sophomores in college—who surprised her. One of them has been helping us out with driving lately. She told the other two because they had been on Penny’s cheerleading team.

It took a lot of support for the whole thing to happen. Teachers not only did the work of helping her—they also believed it was possible for a student with Down syndrome to work hard, make mistakes, learn, grow, and then stand up and offer a long presentation about all that work. All those people communicated a message about who belongs, who is valued, who matters.

Read my full reflection about why belonging matters for all of us by subscribing to tomorrow’s email here.

More with Amy Julia:

Changing the Game: Explaining Exclusion, Tolerance, Inclusion and Belonging to Fourth Graders (and the rest of us!)Becoming a Culture of BelongingThe Spectrum of Welcome: Moving from Exclusion to Tolerance to Inclusion to Belonging

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