When Long Gets Longer
It’s been a loooong minute since I’ve posted a blog. That’s not to say I haven’t started blogs, that I haven’t collected a load of photos to share, or quotes that have inspired me, or poems that I want to offer…I’ve done all of these things and yet never quite made it to hitting the ‘publish’ button. When a week then a month then months go by…it gets harder and harder to know where to begin.
Today I wrote a draft synopsis and query letter for the novel I’ve been working on. I thought, at some point an agent or a publisher may ‘google’ me and see that I have a blog, but haven’t posted in awhile. That could deter them…and since I’m not on Facebook or Twitter…and I’m taking a break from Instagram, my on-line ‘presence’ has shifted. What will that mean to potential agents and/or publishers? I think about this because I know that how a writer ‘markets’ herself, and her work, well, that matters a lot to some. Having said this, I know many writers who are not on-line at all, and they are getting books published and continuing to be active in their communities. We do what we do, and it works how it works, right? For me, I want to show that I am active here…no matter what that activity is…
I started this blog in the early 2000s. I can’t find the exact date, and it was on a whole other platform…what was it called? Something that began with a P…in any case, I’ve been managing to keep this puppy going for over two decades. That’s wild to me! Certainly what is clear is how my relationship with the blog has shifted over time. Remember the year I wrote a poem a day? Remember when ‘thimbles’ was published during the pandemic? Remember last year when I said I’d post with the seasonal changes, new and full moons, solstices and equinoxes. I guess I’ve been quite committed and seem to like to make ‘thematic’ promises to interwebs about what the blog will be each year.
But 2024 rolled in like a fog…and it’s already February 21, 2024 – how the heck did that happen? This is a tough time of every year…winter is doing its dragging-on dance, and pretty much everyone I know has either been fighting some kind of bad cold/flu or is on vacation. Ha! Myself, I’ve had bronchitis three times. I’m just finishing some medication and feeling much better…but still that cough…that persistent cough!
Life is full and good. My 2023 sabbatical year is complete. I’m working three jobs and loving each, though my paper calendar (always paper!) looks like a pen-frenzied-fiasco. ‘Work’ is an-ever shifting relationship in my life too. Sometimes it feels like a full-body experience – my brain and guts and muscles and skin and heart – are fully involved…and I have to remind myself that I am NOT my jobs, and that they don’t have to hurt or be scary…that I CAN do them with vigour and joy. I’ve been teaching, for example, for over twenty years, and I still get nervous/anxiety before I teach. It’s become a natural part of the work – like I’ve taught my body how to react in certain ways when I do work and anxiety is part of the process. Except that, it’s NOT natural to have so much anxiety! And so I’m trying to feel it when it comes and then redirect the energy. It’s a good challenge.
I learned how to bake peasant bread from scratch. Making bread is a truly satisfying experience. From four simple ingredients, it comes alive in your palms…and it makes the house smell like a piece of heaven…and it gives the belly and brain such divine comfort. When I bake peasant bread, I feel the energy of the earth in my hands, and a zinging, wild kind of created nourishment that I feel like humans have been experiencing when baking breads for a long, long time. It is absolutely comforting.
There’s a new baby in our family. The first in quite some time. She’s a seedling, that’s what I call her. So tiny and pure, like a new seed just beginning to sprout. Her presence is bringing a beautiful warmth and soft love into the family. My womb literally shuddered when I held her for the first time! Did a kind of leap of joy, and the little ‘baby fever’ I have left did a little jig too. (Although I’m pretty sure I have, like, one egg left and it refuses to let go…)
I’m reading. I’m writing. I’m teaching and mentoring and editing. I’m doing publicity and accounting. I’m spending time with friends and family. There’s a little trip to NYC (Manhattan) in the future. The kids are well and thriving as is the husband. See, that wasn’t so hard to write, was it?
At least I’ve broken the ‘it’s been too long a time’ song in my mind. And the sky is gorgeous blue. And the sun is sharing her light. And it smells like spring!
Welcome back to the blog! This year’s theme and commitment…um….go with the flow! Write when I write. Peace.
