Could overlooking some of your physiological needs indirectly be holding you back from completing creative projects? Oh No, George! realisation and ADHD by Juliet Clare Bell
I happened to read Oh No, George! by Chris Haughtonin bed last night (having not read it for about three years).
My bedtime reading for the last couple of weeks
Do you ever get that thing where something you’ve read loadsbefore suddenly resonates in a new way?
Oh No, George! (c) Chris Haughton (2012)
…because for the first time (that I remember at least; I mayhave read it and completely forgotten that I had) I saw the quote before Chris Haughton's dedication:
“Freedom is secured not by the fulfilling of one’s desires,but by the removal of desire… No man is free who is not master of himself” Epictetus.
Without throwing myself into ADHD books, research, podcasts,getting some really good ADHD help over the last year and then trying somethingreally new back in August, I would not have understood that quote at all. Butsuddenly it illuminated perfectly how the removal of a specific desire had allowed meto uncover something fundamental that was getting in my way (which I'd not realised) and which I couldfinally work on, freeing me to finish creative projects in a new, improved way. What’s holding you back (if something is) will be different from what was holding me back but thinking about your physiological needs and whether they are really all beingmet might help you uncover it so you can thrive creatively…
So back to Oh No, Clare (sorry, George)!...
Harris (George’s human) asks George if he’ll be good whilstHarris is out:
Oh No, George! (c) Chris Haughton (2012)
He’s (I’ve) even got his (my) eyes closed -I’ll genuinely foolmyself into believing I'll be good/stick at something. Once he’s opened his eyes, he’s already moved tohoping rather than knowing…
And then when he inevitably stuffs up, here comes the ADHD disappointmentof having done it again…
Oh No, George! (c) Chris Haughton (2012)
But he’s forgetful, too (ADHD, anyone?) and he soon movesfrom mistake to mistake. The next time he’s tempted…
Oh No, George! (c) Chris Haughton (2012)
he’s even got the ADHD eyes… those ‘I could just quickly dothis other thing and still be able to make my deadline’ eyes…
Eventually, after a LOT of distraction and being found out comesthe real ADHD shame, perfectly encapsulated by this page:
Oh No, George! (c) Chris Haughton (2012)
And the cycle repeats. I absolutely love this book andalways have done -as have my children and all the children I’ve read it with. It’sbeautiful, funny, poignant (but I'd never seen myself in it until this time round)…
We don’t have to feel sad (for long) for George. He forgetshis mishaps pretty quickly. We’re seeing a snapshot of their lives together andHarris is clearly very familiar with George and his urges. Harris and Georgehave a lovely relationship and Harris still loves George when things go wrong(every ADHDer needs a Harris!). BUT happily for George -and Harris, Georgedoesn’t have adult responsibilities and longer term hopes and dreams that he’sjust aware enough of to know that he’s messing up (like lots of adults withADHD do). George doesn’t need to be free (a la Epictetus) to pursue hisprojects. He can have an awesome life with the ever-understanding Harris. But whatabout us?
Like the lovely George, I had also always been happy and optimisticabout getting it right this time (whatever ‘it’ is) but for me, it was alwaysfollowed by ‘if I can just…’ I was George-level un-self-aware: self-awareenough to feel shame when it went wrong (which it did, a lot) it butun-self-aware enough that I genuinely thought I was self-aware. I was definitelyGeorge (until recently). I knew what I was meant to do/not meant to do, but I couldn’tmake myself do it/not do it. But unlike George, I wasn’t a really appealing dog,beautifully crafted by Chris Haughton that we all love and feelcompassionate towards. I was an adult with adult responsibilities who kept notshowing up how I wanted to -in writing and in life, but without the lovelyHarris to help pick up the pieces.
Do you find yourself thinking
This is the year I’m going to be different/do thingsdifferently?
I know I can write/illustrate/create more, be more, bebetter
[followed by the inevitable] if I can just…
use better systems, have a better year plan, be a new andbetter version of myself?
I always thought that. Each year, each new productivityplanner (there are very, very many), each new conference, retreat, goal-settingsession, in fact pretty much every day…
But
What if we’re trying to treat the symptoms and not thecause? Maybe we’re starting way too high up in our hierarchy of needs? Maybe wereally need to attend to what’s near the bottom?
And if you’re interested, check out Translating ADHD’spodcasts on a slight reimagining of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for people with ADHD… (and episodes 149-153).
Physiological needs
How aware are you of your physiological needs? It mightsound like a silly question but I think I was pretty unaware for most of mylife until the powerful combination of ADHD and perimenopause left medangerously forgetful, brain-foggy and lacking in the ability to follow eventhe most ordinary routines (keys in the fridge, frozen food in the cutlerydrawer, leaving the hobs on, forgetting to lock up). You can’t be responsiblefor children and be forgetting to turn off the hob… so things that had seemed advisablebut optional (getting enough sleep etc) became absolutely necessary.
The needs, discussed below, whilst being considered crucialfor people with ADHD, are really important for everyone -and fit pretty neatlyinto Rangan Chatterjee’s Four Pillar Plan to a healthier life, too.
The 4 Pillar Plan (c) Rangan Chatterjee (2018)
So maybe think really honestly about these needs…
Are you really getting enough sleep and at the right time -foryou?
I can’t burn the candle at both ends like I did up untileven three or four years ago. It’s different for different people and atdifferent points in your life. I used to be a night owl but I love waking up atsix to write which means being asleep as close to 10pm as possible. I'm a wreck for days now if I go to bed later. But most of the time now, I wake up, not feeling tired (which is a real revelation for me).
Are you getting enough movement -for you? And is it movementyou like? (A note: I need to not think of it as exercise, because I’vealways connected exercise with losing weight/changing shape/being a betterversion of myself. For me, movement now is to do with being able to think more clearly-and that’s a positive motivator as my job is mostly about thinking! Mymovement comes mostly in the form of: [1] walking to placesI need to get to, fast (so I'm on a mission); [2] dancing unfiltered to loud music on my own (usuallywith a disco light I can move from room to room) to get me in the proper statefor sitting down at my desk and writing if I feel a bit sluggish or tired ordon’t feel in the right mood yet; [3] very gentle jogging on the spot to get myfocus back on my work if I’m feeling a bit jittery because I’mfinding it hard; and [4] regular moving of my feet back and forth on my woodenroller foot massager (costs about £6).
These are the types of movement that work for me. I wanted to be theperson who wants to go for a walk for its own sake, especially as there’s alovely park five minutes’ walk away but I’ve learned that it’s not the kind ofmovement I like for its own sake. If you stay curious and non-judgemental, canyou think of anything you’re doing because you ‘ought’ to like it and if so, ifthere’s anything you could swap it for that is something you actually do like?It really helps to keep it up when it’s not about self-sacrifice…
Putting the right things -for you- in your body.
For people with ADHD that may well mean: Vitamin D, omega 3,iron, lots of protein (including at breakfast) and very possibly stimulant (or non-stimulant)ADHD medication. And for people who are perimenopausal, this may well mean hormone replacement therapy (HRT; I absolutely could not function without it.) As someone who is still on the waiting list for stimulant medication,I’ve tried all the other ones and they’ve been helpful. But by far the mostlife-altering thing I’ve found has been not eating sugar (except fruit). Ican’t stress enough that it is nothing to do with trying to change shape (pleaseread Sonya Renee Taylor’s excellent The Body is Not an Apology
The Body is Not an Apology. 2nd Edition (c) Sonya Renee Taylor (2021)
or listen to the Sonya Renee Taylor in conversation with Brene Brown). I had noticed that I seemed more sluggish/brain foggy/forgetfulwhen I was eating lots of sugar (which I’d do when I was feeling stressed aboutanything) and I decided to do an experiment for a week and stop eating sugar atthe same time as stopping scrolling on my phone before 11am. Within three days,I noticed a big difference in terms of my focus. And I realised that it wasn’tso much that the lack of sugar improved my memory, but that I was no longer feelinganything like as impulsive as I’ve felt all my life (and I’ve never had thedesire to scroll on my phone since, either, having scrolled for hours every dayprior to experimenting with it). Prior to that, if I was writing and got to atricky part and started feeling discomfort, my thoughts would have immediatelyturned to chocolate as a way to make me feel better, or failing that, scrolling.Once I’d stopped eating sugar, I found that when things got hard when I waswriting, I didn’t have that jittery compulsive feeling, and my thoughts didn’tturn to external ways of removing the discomfort. And something quiteextraordinary (for me, at least!) happened…
I have learned to tolerate discomfort and sit withuncomfortable feelings! Sophie Hannah, poet, novelist and writing coach,hastalked about this: if you’re trying to write and you start feeling uncomfortablethoughts, what is the worst that will happen? You’ll feel uncomfortable. What’sthe best that will happen? You’ll finish the piece that you’re writing. Nothaving something to take away the discomfort immediately in the form ofchocolate or scrolling has allowed me to feel more comfortable with discomfortand finish (and even dare to start) projects that I wouldn’t have finished (or even dared to start) before. I would never have guessed that refraining from eating sugarwould reduce my distractibility and impulsivity, improve my focus and help melearn to tolerate discomfort -in an easy way. But it has. Maybe once I’m on stimulantmedication, I’ll get a similar level of calm and lack of distractibility withthe increase in dopamine. I’m all for desire -wanting something, and workingtowards getting it as long as it’s not hurting anyone else, but many of us withADHD have experienced the unpleasant side of desire that feels all-consumingand out of our control. We so often go for the big emotions because they giveus that dopamine hit but it’s a very short-term hit and having experienced theabsence of clawing desire for the last four months, I have to say I’d choose peaceand control, or Epictetus’s freedom, over chocolate -even as a lifelongdevotee.
Are there any changes to putting things or not puttingthings into your body that might help you with your focus, concentration,distractibility? Again, this has nothing to do with changing body shapeor appearance, but has to do with thinking more clearly so you can be morecreative.
Mindfulness
Finally, it’s worth thinking about how mindfulness in itswider form might help you (not directly physiological needs but still relevant I think). Personally, I really struggle with sitting-downmeditation or yoga as I don’t feel still enough for it so I’ve looked for otherways to feel mindful. Think about what makes you still? What helps youfeel at peace? It might not be what works for someone else. For me, it’s darkand water, and I’ve learned to incorporate both into my life during my workingday and week.
Writing in the dark stills me like almost nothingelse. I do it at 6am each morning, in bed, and it’s like a magical time whereit feels like all the world’s asleep (including my internal editor). Perfect.
And water -works for me. Top three water/work combinations:
3 Listening to waves sounds (or even rain) through headphonesas I write or read
2 Writing by water -there’s a perfect spot by the canal intown where I write once a week for hours
1 Jacuzzi -joint first with writing in the dark for feelingstill. Who knew? The bubbles mean you are constantly being moved around justenough (so you don’t have to be making those movements yourself as you wouldoutside of water) and it’s noisy enough to block out most of the conversationaround you and to still your own mind. It’s like the humming, vibrating babychairs for fretful babies. Perfect. It’s where my mind is the stillest it evergets and I can think really clearly about my work.
I am extremely aware of how fortunate I am and the privilegeI have in being able to access these things, including a gym (which I literally only use for writing, in and out of the jacuzzi; if a jacuzzi would help you think, lots of Sports Direct gyms have a jacuzzi and cost £20 per month including all classes); the right kind of ADHD/perimenopause nutrition; an ADHD assessment; ADHD medication (which I'll get once I finallyget to the front of the waiting list) and Access to Work support from the Department of Work and Pensions. If anyone wanted help with where or howto get ADHD support (particularly in the UK), please get in touch and I’ll tryand get some information up on my website shortly, including a guide to getting Access to Work for ADHD, which I wrote but took out as the blogpost was already too long.
I’m glad George lacks the self-awareness to change -because it’sin his nature to be impulsive and he has such a great time and he’s going toforget his shame really quickly and get back to living his best life. And he’sa dog. In a story (thank you, Chris Haughton for such a wonderful book). But asadults with responsibilities and wanting to write and or illustrate our stories,and deadlines (and for some of us, ADHD), attending to our physiological needsmight be a good place to start exploring Epictetus's possible freedom…
If you have any thoughts on what has helped free you up to make the most of your creativity, or would like to share what's been getting in your way and if something has helped, please let us know in the comments below. Juliet Clare Bell is a children’s author of over 35 picture booksand early readers and is also branching out into some longer writing projects whichshe is now confident she can actually finish… She does author visits in mostlyprimary, but sometimes secondary, schools, and you can find her atwww.julietclarebell.com
