LIKE CLOUDS
I did three book signings this weekend. This has been typical fair for me for the last, well, for a while. I have a schedule that is opposite my friends, and family, and in some ways I love it, but in others I’m not much of a fan. On the upside, I get to meet new people, potential fans, and share my passion with them, all while trying to make a bit of money doing what I love. On the downside, I sacrifice my weekends. But hey, no sacrifice, no victory.
I often wonder when it’s “gonna happen.” And that gonna happen thing changes definitions every year, month, week, day, minute…you get the 
idea. At first, it was “when is Arson gonna get published?” Then it became, “when is Ashes gonna get published?” Now, it’s, “where the flip is that movie deal?” Lofty goals? Not at all. Pretentious? Perhaps. Either way, I’m sort of an impatient person, so at least I’m consistent. You must know that I’ve been writing since I was in fifth grade, and I started writing my first book when I was 12. I’ve been at this writing thing going on 12 years. So for me, it’s taken me some time to build traction and momentum.
But it’s happening, about as fast as clouds move.
While at the signing, a man came up to me and bought a book. It didn’t take any kind of persuasion; in fact, I didn’t even finish telling him what the book was about before he said he wanted it…under one condition: I had to offer some kind of encouragement to his wife, who is also a writer. It seems that she has hit a brick wall. And believe me, this happens more frequently than any writer would like to admit. But it’s part of the game. You gotta just send a mental wrecking ball through it. Of course, it helps when you have a construction crew (family, friends, other artists) who are there by your side encouraging you. So I sent his wife a note and told her it wasn’t gonna be easy, because that’s the truth; but all the sweat, frustration, and creative energy expelled would reap rewards, in time. And this letter came from a young kid who still hasn’t hit Stephen King status yet, even after 10 years in the biz.
So why am I so confident it will happen? What do I have to believe in? And likewise, what can she believe in? Well, that’s simple…the possibility of impacting a generation. The chance to take what is in her head and put it in somebody else’s. And that’s magic.
I was reading in my car today (while parked), and I looked up for a moment to glimpse a dark sky. Clouds loomed over the parking lot, releasing a slight drizzle onto the concrete world. And I found myself thinking: “This is what life is like. No, this is what writing is like.” It’s not an easy journey, but it’s like a cloud’s journey. It has a definite beginning, and it will have an end. Those clouds I watched from a distance began somewhere, and they were moving—slow to my eyes—but in the grand scheme of the universe probably quickly, toward a destination. They are a part of the cycle of existence, and they only know how to do one thing: to keep moving.
So it doesn’t matter that you hit a brick wall or 7 brick walls. It doesn’t matter that you got rejected or that you think what you’ve written, painted, sung, believed in seems like nonsense.
Remember the cloud. Remember that you are also a part of the cycle. And remember to keep moving. No matter how long it takes. No matter what rains may come. No copouts.
E
twitter: @estevanvega
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