Simply Taboo
Water is essential for survival. Trees shed leaves in autumn. The sun is hot. Bitter gourd is bitter. White color is better to wear in summers. Traffic situation in Bangalore is bad...
We are so comfortable making these statements - small truths that we utter without the slightest of hestitation. Perhaps because we have gotten used to making these observations and mentioning them openly. But more so because the stakeholders like "water", "sun" or "Bangalore traffic" arent going to get hurt by whatever you are going to say.
But we also dont shy away from saying that Sunil Shetty sucks as an actor or Mayawati is the worst thing to happen to UP politics in a long long time. What works there is the fact that these people, though known, are public figures to whom individual opinions dont reach (or they dont care about it). But have you ever heard a boss in an MNC tell his subordinate "You have too
much attitude and too few results" or a son tell his mother "I think you are too bossy, Mom, Give dad a break!" Or a wife tell her husband "You are quite boring, even when in bed".
Perhaps not (of course, its not impossible that you actually have, but the odds are less).
The reason is simple - simplicity of expression has started become taboo in the modern social set up, especially the elite bourgeoisie (or the so called upper middle class). Something is conditioning us to go all circuitous about what we say and how we say it. Egos are fragile, impatience runs high and confidence in relationships at an all time low. Therefore, people are too careful not "hurting" other people's feelings. To such an extent, that they end up sugarcoating what they actually want to say. A reprimand sounds apologetic. A complaint comes across as a curiosity. A great distress is expressed more as a wondering... And in the whole pell-mell aproach to "discussion" or "talking", the simple thing that you wanted to say gets lost.
The sad truth is that the truth is often bitter, just like a bitter gourd, and not too many have the stomach to face it when presented in its naked grossness. But those who do bring themselves to face it often find a way to get past it, and relationships benefit from the stark nakedness of it. They find a way to grow and build greater levels of trust.
But when one tries to hold the ear by going atround the back of their head, it is only a matter of time before the hand holding the ear in that awkward manner starts to feel strained. Its only a matter of time that actual conversations cease and all that one does is to find some glue to hold together a crumbling cardhouse. Its only a matter of time before all the pent up emotion bursts and smothers the last strands holding people together.
Its simple... yet not so simple.
We are so comfortable making these statements - small truths that we utter without the slightest of hestitation. Perhaps because we have gotten used to making these observations and mentioning them openly. But more so because the stakeholders like "water", "sun" or "Bangalore traffic" arent going to get hurt by whatever you are going to say.
But we also dont shy away from saying that Sunil Shetty sucks as an actor or Mayawati is the worst thing to happen to UP politics in a long long time. What works there is the fact that these people, though known, are public figures to whom individual opinions dont reach (or they dont care about it). But have you ever heard a boss in an MNC tell his subordinate "You have too
much attitude and too few results" or a son tell his mother "I think you are too bossy, Mom, Give dad a break!" Or a wife tell her husband "You are quite boring, even when in bed".
Perhaps not (of course, its not impossible that you actually have, but the odds are less).
The reason is simple - simplicity of expression has started become taboo in the modern social set up, especially the elite bourgeoisie (or the so called upper middle class). Something is conditioning us to go all circuitous about what we say and how we say it. Egos are fragile, impatience runs high and confidence in relationships at an all time low. Therefore, people are too careful not "hurting" other people's feelings. To such an extent, that they end up sugarcoating what they actually want to say. A reprimand sounds apologetic. A complaint comes across as a curiosity. A great distress is expressed more as a wondering... And in the whole pell-mell aproach to "discussion" or "talking", the simple thing that you wanted to say gets lost.
The sad truth is that the truth is often bitter, just like a bitter gourd, and not too many have the stomach to face it when presented in its naked grossness. But those who do bring themselves to face it often find a way to get past it, and relationships benefit from the stark nakedness of it. They find a way to grow and build greater levels of trust.
But when one tries to hold the ear by going atround the back of their head, it is only a matter of time before the hand holding the ear in that awkward manner starts to feel strained. Its only a matter of time that actual conversations cease and all that one does is to find some glue to hold together a crumbling cardhouse. Its only a matter of time before all the pent up emotion bursts and smothers the last strands holding people together.
Its simple... yet not so simple.
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