emje the enby: interlude

little me wanted to find love, & i hated her for it. i saw her need for love as weak & foolish. little me just wanted love, but i knew we were unlovable so i set out to prove it to her. i battered her again & again with men who hurt her & when we accidentally found a man who loved us, i turned her into the opposite of who she was until he no longer loved us. little me wanted to find love, but i couldn’t let her do that. she is still here, inside me, believing in love—singing along with every love song…can i let her out? can i let her find love?