Excerpt from Cadence

Tears fall. They creep up on me and spill out of this face of mine. There's nothing I can do about it now. I'm committed to this emotion the way one commits to jumping off a cliff. Once you throw yourself out there you can't pull yourself back onto the ledge. They're jagged hot pearls of my pain cascading down my face in a race to the pillow I'm clutching to my stomach like it'll actually dull the pain. I smell the flowers Cole gave me days ago, and I can't stand the beautiful perfume of them any longer. They stare at me, silent, pointing their finger like petals at me. Accusing me. I thought about our date just three nights ago.

"You're a witch, Brynn." He'd said it so matter of fact. No hesitation in his voice at all. He'd just looked at me with his eyes full of desire as he'd kissed me goodnight.

"What do you mean?" My heart had thundered in my chest. He couldn't possibly know what I was. I wasn't even sure I knew what I was.

"Your voice. It's bewitching. I've never heard anything like it. I can't get the sound of it, and the thought of you out of my head. Please let me stay tonight." He'd devoured me with his gaze, and I happily let him swallow me whole, but it wasn't right. It wasn't the time. I'd felt relieved he merely thought I was bewitching.

"Cole, you know I really care about you, and I love spending time with you, but it's not right. Not yet." I couldn't tell him then that I'd never been with any man, save one that still haunted my nightmares. Just thinking about it brought gooseflesh to my skin and I'd grabbed his hand. "You're so sweet to me, let's just get to know each other just a little more please?" I'd looked up at him then, my eyes pleading. I didn't want him to walk away, but I couldn't be with someone who wouldn't value me. All of me.

He'd watched me for a second, his dark hair falling over his forehead, begging me to brush it back with my fingers. He'd leaned down and tasted my lips again, and I savored the texture of his mouth, the hint of the creme brulee we'd shared for dessert still on his tongue. "Your wish is my command, princess," he'd said it with such husky longing that I nearly said yes, but my choice didn't waver. I didn't break. I'd smiled at him as I turned the knob to my apartment. I could love this man. I could. I'd felt the hope of our relationship intensify as I'd backed through the door and watched his face disappear as I slowly closed it behind me. I had locked the deadbolts, all four of them, and leaned my back against the door.

I had felt full of him. Full of his smile at dinner, full of his laugh as we'd walked to my apartment, full of his hands as they'd pushed me to the inside of the sidewalk. Full of the scent of his dark skin. I'd smiled, so happy, and looked at the flowers he'd presented to me when he'd picked me up. The riot of colors made me smile, made me think of how adorable he'd been pulling them from behind his back. I'd walked over and smelled the lilacs, and lillies. Two of my favorites.

I'd gone to bed that night with the memory of his kiss, the memory of his hands in mine on my mind, and I'd dreamt of him. I'd dreamt of what he and I could be, what we could have, what we could make together.

All dashed, all ended. Every feeble hope that I'd had was gone. I scrubbed my hands against my eyes to stop the assault of tears that threatened to drown me. He was gone. The man I'd come to nearly cherish. Gone in an instant, his life a mere blip on mine. Just weeks of togetherness. Weeks of a togetherness that I knew I'd never forget. I panted as I crawled off the bed and into my bathroom. I couldn't stand. I leaned against the side of the bath tub and turned on the water. I wanted to drown in the heat, and wash the pain of his murder away. I knew it was my fault. I knew the moster was back. I'd hoped, prayed, clung to the belief that he was gone, and that every bit of him, save his rotten heart, had died ten years ago. I didn't know how he'd found me, and I wondered why mama hadn't called to tell me he'd woke up.

The water was hot, scalding, and I poured my body into it. I sat there, as the tub filled, my arms wrapped around my legs, my sobs thick, my nose running and the tears flowing. I cried for Cole. I cried for myself. I felt the fear invading me, and I tried so hard to contain it. It was there, gnawing at me.

Daddy was here. He'd found me.