my life in words

I think I would have to compare writing a new song or my book to preparing for the arrival of a newborn baby.  



I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant.  I remember trying to guess what it would be like after my babies were born.  But until they arrived and I was actually living it, I really didn't have a clue.  I wanted to get everything ready for the baby and have all the baby things bought and stored away.  I worked feverishly to make sure everything was perfect for when that new baby got to come home.  Only to find out later so much of what I was doing then was unnecessary and unimportant.



At times I thought about what the baby's life would be like as it grew up.  Where it would go to school.  What it would want to do when it grew up. Who it would marry, and how many children it would have.  I occasionally thought about the typical things parents think about.



There were some things I didn't really think about.  I didn't wonder about what kind of impact my child would truly have on the people that came into her life.  I don't remember thinking about how my child might change lives, and offer hope and encouragement, even to total strangers.  I was too caught up in each moment I was living in.  When I found out I was pregnant, I was only thinking of the child growing inside me and what that meant.  Then when it was time, I was wrapped up in the birth of the baby.  After that, I was so overwhelmed becoming a parent and trying to "figure out the whole baby thing," I didn't think beyond what I was going through in each moment.  I didn't have time to think about the outcome of my baby's life.  I was busy in the every day life of raising a baby into adulthood.



It's only after the child has grown up that you see what their "Purpose" is.  It's then you see the impact they are making in the world.  It's then you are able to see them through different eyes.  You can see their "Destiny" before them as they are walking it out.



That is EXACTLY what it is like for me when I write a new song.  It's EXACTLY what it was like for me when I wrote my book.  In the moment of living the songs and book I had no other thoughts but to come out alive on the other side.  "I couldn't see the forest for the trees," so to speak.



NOW ......that the book is being read and I'm hearing back from those who are reading it, I am finding it overwhelming to comprehend the magnitude of it all.  I am OVER-JOYED, ELATED, BLESSED, SURPRISED , and HUMBLED by what my book is actually doing for people, (and many, many complete strangers).



In some ways it makes me feel like the journey through my 13 year storm has been validated.  I can remember MANY, MANY times asking God HOW was what I was going through ever going to be able to be used for something good.  Again, "I couldn't see the forest for the trees."  It wasn't until NOW , as I read the words people write about my book that is see HOW .  I NOW know that EVERYTHING I went through, every horrible moment I was unable to wake up from the nightmare I was living in, was all for this very moment.  It wasn't for me back then...it was for others now that are going through similar things that I went through.  Only they will be able to battle their storms with me there beside them holding their hand, encouraging them along the way.  My book is an umbrella to hold on your stormiest days.



I wanted my "Nightmare" to have a "Purpose."  I wanted it to show others that at the end of their devastation they could receive "Beauty For The Ashes" too.  But, most importantly, I wanted the "ULTIMATE PRICE" my parents paid, to not have been for nothing!



Until the next time we talk......Stand firm on Philippians 4:13.

Love, Hugs, & Prayers,

~tf