Red Lips on a Dirty Floor
Wednesday 24th of June 2020
~ A conversation from the middle ~
‘… it’s kind of selfish in a way, and not selfish in another. As well as being a problem solving machine, the brain is also a pattern recognising machine. It recognises patterns and adapts accordingly. You blame yourself for everything, you take on everything because that’s the pattern you recognised as a child. If you took the blame, apologised, you would be treated nicely again. You need to stop taking other peoples issues on and you need to stop blaming yourself. Are you ready to do that?’
‘Yes.’
‘You’re not a child anymore, you don’t need to take everything on, you don’t need to be the responsible adult. You can be yourself now, you have permission. Absorbing the blame has been the easy path. If everything’s your fault then you’re the problem, you can change whatever it is about you that supposedly wrong and you don’t have to deal with any messy feelings of anger or hurt if it’s someone else, someone that you care about and want to care about you. If it’s all your fault, then it becomes your responsibility to fix it, to make everything better, you have the control, even if that control is only in your head. You’re done with that now. Enough with the easy path. If something’s your fault then fine, accept that, but if it’s not, let someone else take responsibility for once.’
