The Trauma Response River
The trauma response is not easy to describe or understand, particularly if you have never experienced it. When someone with PTSD is triggered, it can lead to a series of actions and reactions that seemingly don’t make sense. From completely withdrawing into oneself (freeze/dissociate) to making rash or irrational decisions or explosive “hair trigger” temper reactions (fight/flight). Often the people experiencing it don’t understand why they react the way they do and tend to think they are somehow abnormal. But the response is a perfectly normal part of how we have evolved to survive extremely stressful and dangerous situations, although not necessarily helpful or healthy in our day-to-day interactions. But, the body doesn’t know the difference, once the trauma response is triggered, it’s all life or death self-preservation until the trigger (danger) is gone.
I find it helpful to think of the trauma response like a raging river, rushing over rocks and rapids until it reaches the breaking point–the waterfall. When the trauma response is triggered, it’s like falling into and getting swept away by that river, moving ever faster, water rushing over your head, gasping for air, your body hitting the rocks, one thing building on the next like dominoes until you go crashing over the waterfall onto the rocks below.
[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://peacehorsejourney.files.wordp..." data-large-file="https://peacehorsejourney.files.wordp..." src="https://peacehorsejourney.files.wordp..." alt="" class="wp-image-1077" />Photo by Baskin Creative Studios on Pexels.com[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://peacehorsejourney.files.wordp..." data-large-file="https://peacehorsejourney.files.wordp..." src="https://peacehorsejourney.files.wordp..." alt="" class="wp-image-1079" />Photo by Thiago Casst on Pexels.comHealing can come as we learn to recognize and deal with the triggers that drop us into the trauma response river before it can sweep us away to the crushing waterfall. This is a long process–think of it like taking a tiny shovel and digging a smaller stream alongside the raging river–one that flows gently and deposits you softly into serene waters. The idea is to step into the gentle stream and avoid the raging river all together. However, the tricky part is the river and the stream start at the exact same point–the trigger.
[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://peacehorsejourney.files.wordp..." data-large-file="https://peacehorsejourney.files.wordp..." src="https://peacehorsejourney.files.wordp..." alt="" class="wp-image-1087" />Photo by Riccardo Falconi on Pexels.comHow long would it take to hand-dig this secondary waterway? What tools would you need to ensure you stayed safe while working on this project? A life vest? A rope? A bigger shovel? Friends to help? How about an understanding of which rocks are the most slippery or unstable and where the banks of the river are loose and crumbling? This is the work of healing–recognizing those dangerous spots before we step into them and also having the tools to pull yourself out of the river should you fall in.
Building the stream one step at a time (photo by the author)The work you do learning to recognize and understand your the triggers and teaching the brain to respond differently is what gives you the tools to avoid or pull yourself out of the river. This involves being aware enough to recognize what you feel like when you are triggered, and then learning new responses to this stimuli. This is not easy to do as even if the logical mind can recognize you are not actually in danger, the body still receives a huge “chemical dump” of adrenaline and self-preservation telling the body that “I’m going to die unless you do something RIGHT NOW!” putting the body into survival mode–a.k.a. dropping you into the trauma response river. That is why you must learn to recognize the feelings (what your body is communicating).
Learning to avoid the river and step into the stream is a complex process that can take years of hard work. I personally have had success with talk therapy, EMDR, and a lot of introspection–looking at my patterns of behavior–trying to understand what makes me step into the river and what prevents me from stepping out of it. I am at a point now where I am familiar with why I react certain ways and much of the time I’m able to recognize it when it is happening. However, I’m not always able to pull myself out of that river, but there is power in knowing what is happening and why, and this knowing weakening the power of my raging river.
Each time you are able to recognize a trigger and step out of the river and into the stream, the river loses some of its power until eventually it dries up and all that is left is the quiet stream flowing into serene waters. It’s a lofty goal and one worth fighting for.
[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://peacehorsejourney.files.wordp..." data-large-file="https://peacehorsejourney.files.wordp..." src="https://peacehorsejourney.files.wordp..." alt="" class="wp-image-1086" />Photo by Matthew Montrone on Pexels.comI don’t often write posts with no horse references at all but this one I felt was important to express this from the human perspective at this time. Raising PTSD awareness and helping people understand how trauma can change the way our brain responds are messages I’m passionate about sharing. However, many horses are also deeply affected by this trauma response. I will be revisiting my trauma response river analogy with regard to horses in a future post. Take care my friends, PEACE.
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